The grass is always greener on the other side
Aaaarrrggghhhhh
This is so frustrating! I'm sorry all the recent posts sound either emo or frustrated. I do not have any interesting moments or happy story to share simply becos I haven't had any fun in a long time. Perhaps the only highlight last week was the dinner at a Malaysian Restaurant - Rumours where I had the most awesome curry laksa but it freaking cost a bomb 6.90GBP = approx RM42 for a big bowl of curry laksa WTF kill me bah. But it was really good and it was a temporary cure for our homesickness.
Consequence is a whole week of instant noodle and frozen food.
Abrupt stop becos I have to get back to work. That's right. There isn't a single day we go by without thinking of studio work. So much to do, so little time. Sometimes I wish I had chosen a different path. But over and over again I tell myself, once you make a decision, you have to stick to it.
Daily mantra : Do what you love, love what you do.
.4
Its raining out there. Am having a cup of hot milo while typing this. Blissful feeling. Home.
As you can tell from the previous posts I was having one of those down moments in life, possibly one of the most depressive moments I've ever gotten. Shitty things happened, but instead of giving up I turned the anger into energy and worked my way back on track again. The result wasn't very satisfactory yet but its a good start.
After 2 hellish weeks with minimal sleep, we finally had a relaxing weekend to rejuvenate ourselves. First ever experience to the cinema (4.90GBP = aprox. RM28 ouch!) and an awesome daytrip to the west end of glasgow.
Autumn colors <3
.3
Was reading my notes written in the journal given to me by Hayden, and saw the 'farewell speech' that he typed for me. At the end of it he included this quote, which I didn't think much about until now.
"One day at a time,
this is enough.
don't look back and grieve over the past
for it is gone.
do not be troubled about the future
for it has yet to come.
live in the present and make it so beautiful
that it will be worth remembering."
This time when I read it, it presented a whole new meaning to me. Mainly becos it was so apt for the moment, and I really needed some motivation and inspiration to move on.
Thanks, buddy :')
.2
Life's too short. and family is jewel. That was probably the message my nightmare last night was trying to convey.
Caught in a dilemma here. How do you choose a side when both sides propose such strong pros and cons? How do you strike a balance in both, when you have absolutely no idea what you're doing?
These couple of weeks have been hellish...As I sat here typing this entry, I realised that I've been so caught up with work and gym (to release pent up emotion), and basically surviving this harsh environment, that I have forgotten how to sit back, relax, and have fun.
I do not remember the last time when I have absolutely nothing to worry about, when it was just me and a really good movie, or a really good book. The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown that I bought on the first week here is still lying beside my bed, I've barely gotten thru the first few chapters. The postcards that I bought on my first daytrip out of Glasgow, those that I've been meaning to write and post them out since forever, are still lying untouched underneath all those books that have the words 'sustainable architecture' printed on them.
Where have all my 'me-time' gone?
I just hope that at the end of the day, this will all be worth it.
.1
An official update since I touched down in Glasgow.
Life has been interesting lately..hectic, filled with ups and downs, but interesting nonetheless. It's been a month (and 2 days) since I left the comfort of my own home. Despite the heavy workload (which I shall elaborate later, or not at all) I still feel like I'm on a vacation/holiday. I go to bed everyday thinking that I will be going home soon, after I'm done with all this shits. The fact that I'm gonna be here for a good 2 years has yet to sink in.
So what is it like to be here, (insert correct number here) miles away from home, from family and friends. Can't say its bad, but not perfect either. Lazy to post any photos..as most of you who (still) read my blog will probably have seen them on facebook.
I guess the most prominent change that I've experienced here other than the weather, oh and the fact that I have to prepare all my meals myself - is the way we're being taught and tutored in uni. All I can say is that we've finally grasp the definition of archiTORTURE, and it will probably reach new heights in no time.
Anywayyyy, for whoever that cares, I'm alive and kicking in the land of single malts (btw they implemented this new rule that only allows ppl of 25 years and above to purchase liquor wtf is this? oh but we can still buy la but need to show passport..like every.single.one.of.us who is there eventho only one of us is going to buy wtf)
so yea. later. cheers.
Behind the tears of a clown
I guess we would have to walk a mile
In each others shoes at least
What size you wear? I wear 10's
Let's see if you can fit your feet
In my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what it'd be like
To feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each others minds
Just to see what we'd find
Look at shit through each others eyes
Don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful
They can all get fucked just stay true to you
So don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful
They can all get fucked just stay true to you
-Beautiful by Eminem
Forgot how much I used to love Eminem's songs.
Why do good things always have to come to an end? and why do good things come so late? Mama said don't play with fire..but it's too hard to resist.
At the end of the day I wish I had listen to mama.
I thot of a suitable title but then I forgot wat it was
I'm mean. I'm grumpy. I'm selfish. I'm bitchy.
You know how we always call zyin the bitchy one but in fact I'm the one who is really the mean bitch. I say mean things to people, and sometimes I even do mean things to people. But really, people, I don't mean those things I say, well most of the times anyway. Other times I really do think you're a piece of useless shit and a total waste of space on earth. So most of the times I am just being funny (or I try to be, in my own sense of humour).
Would you people prefer me to be all fake and pretentious and call u 'dahling' or 'dear' and act all sweeety pie when in fact what I really want to say is 'hey, what? watever I don't give a fuck"
See, I really do not want to be fake and pretentious becos its so tiring. So when I give u the grumpy look and say mean things to you I don't mean to hurt you or anything. It's just me, being bitchy. And it's most probably cos I just woke up.
Do you guys understand what I'm trying to say? Don't say yes becos that will be a lie. I don't even know what I'm saying here.
And then there's this question I always wonder. Am I a patient or impatient person?
I get really really reaaaaally and i mean really impatient behind the wheels. Seriously, how do some people get their drivers' license is beyond me.
1. I get so pissed off everytime I pick my younger sisters from school. Seriously. These students have no brains. You don't own the road, so fucking walk at the side and let the damn cars pass. I swear one day I'm gonna run them down like bowling pins.
2. Fucktards who think their kids are the queens/kings of the worlds. Either that or their kids are handicapped and can't walk. You do not need to drop/pick up your child RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE SCHOOL GATE. It's okay if they just take a second or two. But some really take their own sweet time opening the back door, put their bags, close the door, open the front passenger door, climb in one leg, then the other, and close the door. WTF?
3. Fucktards who park their car in the middle of the road hence blocking all the traffic. I'm too tired to elaborate.
4. Buses. WHAT ARE BUS STOPS FOR?
5. MOTORCYCLES. WHEN I BECOME THE PM OF MSIA I WILL BAN MOTORCYCLES FROM THIS COUNTRY. too bad if ur poor and cant afford cars. walk, cycle, watever shit I don't care. and if you cycle in the middle of the road its perfectly legal for the car behind to knock you over. you deserve it.
6. Heavy vehicles ie lorries on the middle lane on highway. Please. stay on the slow lane if you're doing less than 60km/h.
7. EVERY FRIDAY AFTERNOON. I don't mean to be racist. But seriously...I would want to say you people do not own the roads, we pay as much road tax as you do, but some of you will you say you indeed own this country...and then -- oops I have to stop becos sked ISA.
There're many more other things that piss me off when I'm driving. I'm not the best driver but hey you do not have to be a F1 driver to be pissed about those things I stated.
The main point of this post is, I really feel like eating something now, preferably from the ramadhan bazaar. I don't fancy nasi kerabu but it sounds good right now. And nasi briyani too.
