Because I'm a... prawn.

.

2010-11-14T00:48:00.001Z

have you ever felt like
the world has turn its back on you?

what do you do then..?

想回到过去.

2010-11-02T13:47:00.002Z

Coffee. L4D2. Sunrise. Miniclip. Brownies. Southpark. Youtube. AutoCad. DavidChoi. Guitar. CounterStrike. Commando2. That Girl. SketchUp. 8BallPool. PhotoShop. Facebook. FireAlarm. Toastie.

Moments like these make us realized its not so bad afterall. That it's worth keep fighting for. That we're not alone.

These are the memories that I will be holding on for as long as I live.

I just had McD's but I'm still hungry?

2010-07-20T02:32:00.002+01:00

Just a short update to tell the world that Inception was mind blowing-ly awesome. Went in with no idea at all what the movie was about except that it was lead by my ex-dream guy (Titanic, I was 11) Leonardo Dicaprio and that it involves some dreams. Turned out to be extremely good, didn't even want to leave my seat eventho my bladder was gonna burst halfway through the movie. It was not until the credits that I found out the movie was written and directed by none other than the genius - Christopher Nolan who did Memento, The Prestige, and The Dark Knight - all were top rated movies in my list.

Very refreshing plot, amazing cast- as Nolan had with all his movies, totally worth every penny.

This is not a movie review.

I want to upload photos of my previous trips but am too lazy to sift through the thousands of photos....okay. end.

Blues

2010-07-09T21:41:00.001+01:00

Summer thus far...

2010-06-09T02:31:00.007+01:00

As the title says...

The move from James Blyth Court, our homes for the past nine months to Thomas Campbell Court, our temporary home for the next four months.

Let them pictures tell the story.

Honestly, it looked like refugee camp.

All our stuff

Colorful bags

Spent 1.5 hours moving all these stuff...up a slope.

Returned the old keys and went for coffee and brunch!

Felt nice to just sit and get roasted by the sun :)

Uno game to kill time

And some ball games - rugby and volleyball.

Got tired of running and hitting balls, so it was time for some girly activities.

Pink nails!

Summer love

After waiting for 4 hours, we got the keys to our new home and started moving in the stuff. And the lucky us got a unit all the way at.....4th floor! The excitement! of moving allllll the stuff up! When I found out, I almost wanted to cry.

The lounge after moving in all our belongings...

There was no space in the lounge anymore, so they left my luggage in the bathroom :(

It was an exhausting day but we all had fun so it was alright :D After settling down in the new home, it was time for dinner. Everyone was so tired but we did not want to waste the night..so we headed over to a friend's house for some drinks...you would think that was the end to our night.. But we are architecture students, and that makes us super humans, with the amazing ability of fighting off sleep for unimaginable amount of time.

Becos the older Peacock thinks that learning to save human lives from drowning is more important than having picnic, we decided to bring forward our BBQ picnic from Monday to the next day, ie Sunday. So after the party, at 1.30am, we walked all the way to Tesco to buy the ingredients and food needed for the picnic. And then we went home. and slept. while the older Peacock marinated the food. and made chocolate bananas.

The next day. Picnic!

Weather forecast was unfortunately accurate - it was cloudy. But that didn't stop us from having a great time at the Ayr beach!

Weather was a bit chilly but we felt warm as soon as we started the fire :)

Poser photo. What else.

Yes, jump shot.

There were more photos of the picnic but my friend was too lazy/busy to upload. And I'm too tired to continue anyways. 3.40am now, gotta wake up at 6am to catch a train and flight to Sweden.

Gonna have some authentic swedish meatballs!

xoxo

It's a brand new day

2010-06-04T22:41:00.003+01:00

So...this is it huh. It's been a week since final presentation and RIBA external examination (which went pretty well, thanks to all who wished me luck). I just wanna say that I think I did much better as compared to last semester (well anything would be better, as I couldn't possibly get worse results than that - it would be a FAIL if I did). Could've performed much better in many different aspects but I tried my best...Should've managed my time better if given a second chance. So. yup. That was it. Done with my third year in architectural studies (technically fourth year...) Hopefully the final results won't do much damage to my mood and confidence when its released.

That's not the only thing that's coming to an end. Tonight will be the last night I'm staying in JBC Block J Flat 7-3. Tomorrow we're all moving to another flat across from here for the summer...Will be sharing the flat with everyone who's staying back for the entire summer hols..it's gonna be cramp but lively and happening. No more privacy and I foresee lots of disagreement with so many people living in a house..but it's gonna be fun nonetheless.

I just realized that I've never taken any photos of my room. Wanted to do it since the day I got here but as a result of procrastination, you guys will never be able to see how my room looked like. Not gonna do it now cos I'm in the midst of packing, cleared all the shelves and things off the walls, luggage and boxes on the floor, and fresh laundries on the naked bed. It's a mess here. I hate packing. seriously. I hate unpacking even more.

Ok, just wanted to do a quick update before I get busy having fun soaking in all the sun. Busy busy schedule from now til July...Friends from back home and other parts of UK coming to visit this weekend, then off to Sweden/Copenhagen next week. Gonna meet up with my parents after that in London!! Can't wait! and then its fun time with Lynn in London and Amsterdam (again). Basically lots of travelling. and that means lots of money. Hopefully I get a job when I'm back in July :(

It's getting hotter in Glasgow..the weather kinda reminds me of home. I miss home so much. I have half a mind to go back after all the travelling. But I shall not surrender to homesickness...I've got promises to keep..promises to myself that is. Just need to hold on a bit longer..

Alright. That's all. Packing resume. Busy and tiring day tomorrow. A new chapter in life awaits.

Miss home. miss family. miss everyone and everything back home! xoxo

I'm not just a fan

2010-05-21T05:15:00.003+01:00

Dear David Choi,

I really like you and your music. See, I'm not like any other fans that you already have. I'm more than a fan. I'm an air-cond.

Your biggest air-cond,
ST.

David Choi

2010-05-20T09:55:00.005+01:00

Honestly, he is the first korean that I'm actually attracted to. Forget about Rain, Superjunior or whatever korean boy bands out there (maybe except 2PM(?) becos I just saw a video of them and omg those bodies are rape-worthy). David Choi is THE shitz. He isn't exactly the best looking guy, he is a tad short (why am I always attracted to short guys eventho I really want a tall bf/husband in the future?) but something about him and his voice, his songs just make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. There are lots of famous youtube singers and talented young men out there but David Choi, was by far the first one that gave me that indescribable feelings whenever I listen to his songs...

The above video was made by Wong Fu Productions (another bunch of talented guys). I've been replaying it the whole night, and it will be some time before I move on to other singers. Check out his other songs as well, especially Won't Even Start (music video was made by Wong Fu Productions as well).

David Choi, sigh!

What I've been up to...

2010-05-17T05:28:00.003+01:00

yes this photo is dated 7th May but the same thing has been happening for abt 2 weeks now.. wake up at 7pm - dinner - start work - supper - work - work - work - work - sleep at 10am. rinse and repeat and there you have it, my life that is filled with excitement.

summer is approaching and day time becomes longer.. the sun rises at 5am and sets at 10pm, which kinda sux becos we're nocturnal and vampiric (does this word even exist?) and that means we can only function during nighttime.

it sux when sunrise is no longer beautiful and is something you dread everyday. :(

江外思乡

2010-05-11T09:37:00.004+01:00

年年春日异乡悲，
杜曲黄莺可得知。
更被夕阳江岸上，
断肠烟柳一丝丝。





谁言寸草心，报得三春晖

I'd rather be with you

2010-04-25T12:22:00.000+01:00

Sitting here, on this lonely dock
Watch the rain play on the ocean top
All the things I feel I need to say
I can't explain in any other way

I need to be bold
Need to jump in the cold water
Need to grow older with a girl like you
Finally see you are naturally
The one to make it so easy
When you show me the truth
Yeah, I'd rather be with you
Say you want the same thing too

Now here's the sun, come to dry the rain
Warm my shoulders and relieve my pain
You're the one thing that I'm missing here
With you beside me I no longer fear

I need to be bold
Need to jump in the cold water
Need to grow older with a girl like you
Finally see you are naturally
The one to make it so easy
When you show me the truth
Yeah, I'd rather be with you
Say you want the same thing too

I could have saved so much time for us
Had I seen the way to get to where I am today
You waited on me for so long
So now, listen to me say:

I need to be bold
Need to jump in the cold water
Need to grow older with a girl like you
Finally see you are naturally
The one to make it so easy
When you show me the truth
Yeah, I'd rather be with you
Say you want the same thing too
Say you feel the way I do

Mofo

2010-04-13T19:44:00.004+01:00

Today, Lynn called me to discuss about her 2 week 'study trip' to UK during the summer. I agreed to be her travel buddy and our main objective is to explore the architectural scenes in London and Scotland.

Part of the phone conversation:

Me : If we spend x amount of days in A and y amount of days in B, that leaves us with 1 or 2 days free....

Lynn: That's okay becos I'm sure our 3 days trip will end up being a 4 or 5 days trip due to some distractions.

Me: Distractions like what?

Lynn: Like seriously I've never seen a 3-floor Topshop in my life before..............

Me: .............................

Of Guinness and...rocks.

2010-04-12T13:09:00.011+01:00

After the previous post on spring picnic, there was a couple of days of snow and rain and gloomy weather which kind of weirded everyone out. Did we just jinxed the weather or 2012 is coming too soon?

Anyway, it was all sunshine and love since I got back from Belfast so I guess spring is really really here. Lots of people proclaiming their love for the change of season but I just couldn't be bothered.. I wake up, look out the window, see a sunny day, and then go back to sleep. I've got too much of those back in Malaysia so there's really nothing to be excited about. It's a relief from the snowy and rainy days but that's all I think of it...not obsessed with it or anything.

And, for the first time since I got here, I fell sick. :\ not the occasional headache or dizziness but I feel really really weak right now..pain in various parts of the body + sore throat + flu. I'm running out of nurofen..anyone care to donate some? This is not the right time to fall as plenty of deadlines are drawing closer and closer.

I'm gonna end the post with some photos taken in Belfast. Didn't really get to experience much of the city life since everything was closed due to Easter Holiday and the whole place practically looked like a ghost town. But going to the Antrim coast was the highlight of the trip. No waking up early in the morning to get free breakfast, no rushing from places to places, no fussing over where to dine, basically it was a chillaxing place in an awesome holiday home. Too bad we couldn't stay there for a longer period. Overall it was different from other trips we had and was really refreshing.

The photos:
[Credits to Shenghao & Lester for the lovely photos]

First stop - The Belfast City Hall

First brunch at Benedict's - yummy steaks but a tad too pricey.

Camwhoring at the Waterfront :)

Okay I forgot what buildings are these but every place is a setting for the posers in us.

A tour to the Rope Bridge. Of cos I didnt' cross it.

Camwhoring with DSLR. This needs skills and experience.

So we climbed up a hill and the wind was soooo strong we had difficulty standing on two legs...

So this is the famous Giant's Causeway...UNESCO listed. The rocks are all naturally shaped like that.

Yup. Us.

Had the famous Irish Stew. Would've tasted much better if we hadn't been in such a rush.

You cannot say you've been to Ireland without having the famous Guinness.

Grocery shopping before heading to Ballygally.

After an hour or so of train ride, here we are, at the holiday home!

At the backyard of the house. HUGE backyard with a stream flowing beside it :)

More pictures of posers at the backyard.

Everyone got too excited and carried away when shopping for food....

We ended up with toooo much food and had a hard time struggling to finish them all on the last night there. Stressful!

The first of many feasts..4 chickens and a tray of potato dish.

The routine: Wake up - brunch - beer - tv - wine n' strawberries - late lunch - beer - tv - BASICALLY JUST LIE AROUND AND EAT/DRINK LIKE PIGS LA

Went for walks around the coast.

Posers #1

Posers #2

Posers #3

Ending with an emo photo of me cos I am le emo now.

Spring love

2010-03-29T01:36:00.005+01:00

Yup, so spring is finally here :) After a long and tedious week, Amily suggested we should have a picnic, so off to Botanic Garden we went!

According to weather forecast it was supposed to rain, but with much optimism and lots of fingers crossed, we managed to indulge ourselves in good amount of sunshine.

Pictures courtesy of Shenghao :D

Sunny sunny day!

Setting up

Happy and grateful for the awesome weather.

Hungry vultures.

Yummy food! Sushi roll, egg n ham sandwiches, cookies, cakes, pies, nuggets, popcorn, lots of fruits and drinks :D

After feasting, it was time for some games. Mao with a frisbee.

The wind was a wee bit strong so frisbee wasn't a very good idea.

So we played Dog n' Bone instead, which was hilarious.

And everyone's childhood game - Pepsi Cola, where Leslie owned all of us.

Last but not least, The Eagle and Peacock!

It was a battle of survivor between the eagle and the baby peacock.

Mommy peacock and her babies.

Tribute to the sun.

And of cos the obligatory jump shot.

Generally an extremely awesome day-out especially after hibernating the whole of Saturday away. Definitely will be doing it again, as some unfortunate souls couldn't make it today. Don't worry, spring and summer will be here to stay for a while :)

rant rant rant

2010-03-27T06:35:00.002Z

最讨厌听到人家讲一句‘我不会’，就不用做，不加于理会。
不会不会
不会去学吗
明明就是个借口
我们有一把口就是要拿来问
不会就要问人，要学习啊
有人一生出来就什么都会的吗
Information counter, customer service, internet, google etc 你以为是要来干吗的？？
摆美的厚？？？
一句我不会就把工作推给别人。。。如果每个人都说他不会，那岂不是永远都不用做？等鬼做给你厚？
真是的

rant over. -___-

Procrastination 1

2010-03-24T19:53:00.002Z

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you'll never know what you're gonna get!"

Right now my life is as predictable as a bar of Cadbury milk chocolate - every bite is just as milky/boring/plain as the next. Basically my weekends (as of now) consists of movies, monopoly, the occasional drinking, some RPG gaming, and er, more movies on PPS. Weekdays are designated for assignments - CAD, SketchUp, model making, sketching, brainstorming, and more CAD. And lugging myself to tutorials looking like a zombie. And gym. The only thing that is constant is my bedtime - it's becoming a habit to crash after the sun rises regardless of what day it is. But I guess that's normal - its unusual for uni students to go to bed early, its an unacceptable social norm and i think it's almost against the law.

Albeit being predictable, my social life is also like a roller coaster ride - one day its binge drinking with a bunch of crazies and then the next its retiring into hermit-like life without any real human contact or daylight, the only companion being the ever faithful notebook and neslo supply.

Last weekend was one hell of a crazy weekend with Alistair and Janice's birthday celebrations. Splurged on good food, awesome present and the obligatory alcoholic drinks. Other 'tools and equipments' involved shaving cream, shavers, marker pens, buckets, and more buckets, masking tapes and duct tapes (to protect certain pili from being removed against will). The outcome wasn't pretty..especially for the birthday boy and girl. I on the other hand got overly excited as well and let's just said it was like my 21st bday deja vu.

Once the celebration was done and over with we plunged ourselves into the evil that is known as assignments, and once again we cut ourselves from the outside world and just...do what we have to do. fuhhhh [proof - click after Thursday 25 March - that's when I will update it..grudgingly.]

Hokay, so basically, I am done with updating and procrastinating. There're about 8 items on the to-do list for Friday's review and none of it is near completion. fuuuhhhhhhh

bai.

Lovelorn

2010-03-17T22:55:00.003Z

~~When you walk away I count the steps that you take~~
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
the pieces of my hearts are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too

When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
and make it ok
I miss you.

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were.

And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breath I need to feel you here with me.

After all the efforts..you're just gone.
When you left, you took a piece of me with you.
I did not appreciate you when you were here..
Now that you're gone, I'm hopeless and lost.
I know its all my fault..I could hardly blame you.
I was careless...I wasn't sensitive enough.
But I was really really exhausted.
My mind wasn't there..but my heart should've been.
I'm sad, I'm angry, I'm devastated, I'm emo.
But most of all, I'm fucking heartbroken.

Who would have guessed it...losing a sketchbook could be so heart wrenching?!
All my sketches..drawings...scribblings...sweat and blood..*poof*
I believe this is karma..

Now, can anyone tell me how to move on?
I've got myself a brand new, BLANK sketchbook..
I couldn't even draw a line..I couldn't even write my name on it.
It feels too much like a betrayal.

Somewhere deep within my heart
I believe we will reunite again.
somewhere...somehow..

~~In memory of my beloved Sketchbook~~
~~September 2009 - March 2010~~

Edit: FOUND IT! RECONCILED <3 <3 never gonna lose u again babeh <3<3

That's why I love Grey's Anatomy

2010-03-13T03:40:00.003Z

Architects are complacent people...
We don't put our feet up
We don't sit still.
Whatever the game is
We like to win.
And once we win, we get a new game.

We push ourselves.
It doesn't matter how much we achieve.
If you're a climber
There's always another Mountain.

They take pictures of mountain climbers
at the top of the mountain.
They're smiling...
Ecstatic...
Triumphant.

They don't take pictures along the way.
Cause who wants to remember the rest of it?
We push ourselves becos we have to.
Not becos we like it.

The relentless climb...
The pain and the anguish of
taking it to the next level...
Nobody takes picture of that.
Nobody wants to remember.

We just want to remember
The view from the top.
The breathtaking moment
at the edge of the world.

That's what keeps us climbing.
And it's worth the pain.

That's the crazy part.
It's worth anything.

- from Grey's Anatomy

That's why I love Grey's.

怕

2010-03-10T00:51:00.004Z

人，是善变的。
我现在好想快快张大
我想对社会有奉献
我要回馈父母对我的养育及爱戴
我梦想成为一位成功人士
我一定要做到。。。

表面看似坚强无比
其实内心却充满了恐惧

谁能教我
失败以后
要怎么面对

谁能指引我
真确的路
该往哪走

我真的真的
真的很怕。

The list

2010-03-07T01:56:00.003Z

I logged in with the intention to churn out a good piece of writing in the best possible English that I'm capable of but I couldn't. I've forgotten how to write. I was never a good writer and now it's becoming worse. My ability to speak and write in English is deteriorating day by day, and it worries me. Well I blame it on uni, really. The ridiculous amount of work makes it impossible for anyone to have time to read. When I don't read enough, my writing skills goes down the drain. I do believe the amount of reading is quite directly proportional to the ability to write creatively.

So, when I can't write in proper sentences or paragraphs, I write in point forms. That'll make things so much easier. The subject of this post shall be : The things I will do when I'm back in Malaysia

1. Go to any mamak [preferably Steven's Corner] and order everything I could think of : cheese naan kaya, maggi goreng, roti tisu, nasi lemak sotong, nasi lemak ayam, maggi gon lou, burung puyuh, roti telur, lamb with mint sauce, teh tarik, teh ais, teh o ais limao, milo ais and etc.

2. Eat dim sum.

3. Eat all the hawker food - wanton mee, char kuey teow, chap fan, chee cheong fun, pork noodles, beef noodles, claypot noodles, chicken rice, claypot chicken rice, asam laksa, curry laksa, bak kut teh etc etc etc!!

4. Eat all my mom's cooking.

5. Eat Japanese food.

6. Eat any food I forgot to mention above - eggtarts, all the kuih melayu, the bread with yuk gon, the pastry that my mom always buy from this specific bakery, the dumplings that my god-grandma makes, the cakes from any bakery [cheap and good cakes are hard to come by here] old town coffeeshop etc etc etc!

7. You would have notice no.1-6 were all about food. So this shall not be about food. I know this might sound strange but I would love to go to the wet market with my mom in the morning.

8. Hang out with my friends that I haven't met in ages. Have a drink at Old Town, watch football match at Steven's Corner, Shisha and talk cock after the awesome cheese naan opposite Ampang Point, movies at Pavilion, dinner at Jalan Alor, yum char at any mamak...

9. Club!!

10. Hang out at Freddy's house, play Wii at JinHang's house, drink and bbq at Edison's house, visit all the new houses ie Lynn's mansion, Bev's fugly toilet, and SuAnn's small bedroom.

11. Lie on couch and watch Astro all day.

12. Go on short trips to somewhere nearby. Go visit Clara in Singapore.

13. You tell me.

I'm tired of continuing the list..let's just stop here okay.

Abrupt ending cos I'm le tired.

Another update

2010-02-25T00:44:00.003Z

Am I asking for too much..or should I settle for less? The question that has been bothering me for a while now...Strive hard to be a highflyer, or settle for simplicity? Aim for the predictable and secured, or head for the road less taken? Can a person be more than 1 thing at once?

I'll be off to Amsterdam tomorrow. Not feeling excited at all...yet.

Hop on over to my studio to follow me on my work progress here. Prove that I have been working hard and not partying/travelling/having fun/wasting money like you people think I was.

Gong Xi Fatt Chai from Glasgow!

2010-02-16T01:56:00.019Z

Yup it's me..finally a new update! A lot has happened since the last post but not gonna talk about them since I have no idea where to begin. So I shall just wish everyone a very very HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR tung tung chiang!

This year marks my first ever CNY away from home and of cos its almost impossible to not feel emo and homesick :\

Fortunately I'm not alone...with all the asians here especially my beloved JBC family, this CNY turned out to be less pathetic than I thought it would be (: Not very CNY-ish but we couldn't ask for more! (Well actually we could...it'd be great if we have holidays too....)

Eve was spent dining with a HUGE bunch of fellow Malaysians and Singaporean friends..the closest to a reunion dinner that we could have. 4 tables and our own private room in a chinese restaurant in town -- like a mini wedding! Complete with karaoke facilities! Which by the way was fawesome to the max! The night ended with a long webcaming session with the family boohoo

My table :) Photo stolen from Janice without permission..haha thanks!

Happy family!

First day of CNY was spent helping out my friend/groupmate with his thesis project, which involved street performance and a lot of embarrassing stunts in the middle of town...but it was fun nonetheless! Nighttime party was a nightmare tho, lets just say I won't be using soy sauce or vinegar in my cooking for a month!

Photos taken by ShangRong..thanks dude.

Second day, which was today, was my turn to work on my thesis aka further embarrass ourselves in the public, but due to the sucky weather we were forced to postpone it to tomorrow..hopefully it will be bright and sunny then! Altho it was forecast-ed to snow.....no fret becos we know the weather forecasts are only half accurate anyway. *in denial* Highlight of the day was the CNY cookies that Alistair shared with us! Pineapple tarts, peanut cookies, mandarin oranges etc...heavenly! A taste of home finally. *loves*

So there you go..a slight glimpse into my life here in Glasgow. Don't believe the photos on Facebook..! They're all pretty deceiving. The truth is I work more than play okay. The fact that I'm working on my thesis and portfolio during CNY prove that I'm actually kind of hardworking..haha who am I kidding. But I'm trying very hard here..!

Once again..HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

新年快乐！
恭喜发财！
万事如意！
身体健康！
招财进宝！
福星高照！
青春美丽！
学业进步！
发啊！！！

不想长大

2010-02-01T06:27:00.003Z

年少轻狂的日子过去了吗...?
怎么少了冲动的决定，疯狂的想法
多了的反而是使命感和对未来的一个谨慎
以前的我到那儿去了...?

我还想在天真无知的那个阶段多待一会儿
还想不负责任继续着任性的固执的我的性格
不想那么快长大可以吗?

我.要.找.回.以.前.的.我!

我还要继续疯狂下去！

Farewell overdose

2010-01-21T10:05:00.002Z

There's just something about train stations and airports that brings out the sorrow in people..or perhaps its just me. This month is filled with partings and farewells, that i think i might start to get numb from overdosage. JBC is so much quieter now...and it will be even worse in the coming months when more leave...

The weather is not particularly gloomy today but my heart's heavy, or in Jin's words 'MASSIVE HEART'. As if missing one person is not bad enough, now I'm gonna miss three of you. and then more! There's only so much a person can miss...Oh well. People come and go, they always leave. I just have to find a way to deal with it.

It's gonna be a boring semester without the clowns around...come back soon you people! And then we'll have a blast in summer...!

xoxo

Update

2010-01-14T23:15:00.003Z

Just got back from a well-deserved break in Edinburgh..where we escaped the reality for 2 days and had incredible fun eventhough it was only Edinburgh. Finally watched Avatar in 3D which was good shit, got scared shitless in the Edinburgh Underground Vaults Ghosthunter tour (nah not really scary, but it was entertaining), witnessed weiyang and huilih's drunken circus show and climbed Arthur's Seat where we had a bloodied snowball fight. Basically we just indulged ourselves in good food, good fun, and good company. It was costly but it was money-well spent for I felt like i've never been so happy in such a long time. the previous week was really, seriously, absolutely nightmarish.

Anyway, when I thought things were finally looking up, we were hit by bad news as soon as we got back and once again i fell into the pit of sorrow. It didn't last long as i managed to convinced myself to climb out of it with some self-consolation and motivation. Right now I can just hope for the best, for myself and for everyone else in the same boat as me.

Word of the moment: never-ending

Never ending works to be done, never ending problems coming my way, never ending self determination, never ending love from family and friends.

"I still need more healthy rest in order to work at my best. My health is the main capital I have and I want to administer it intelligently."- Ernest Hemingway

Do not take away my main capital!

2010

2010-01-04T21:29:00.002Z

So that was it. 2009, gone in a blink of an eye. As cliche as it might sound, time really does seem to fly. How could it be 2010 already, when i could still remember vividly what happened in 2008 - two years ago.

2009 was a less eventful year as compared to 2008, less heartbreaks, less dissappointments (probably becos there were no high hopes to begin with), less sinful acts and generally a more mature and grown up year.

It was a year to explore new frontiers and boundaries. A year that put my determination and perseverance to test. A year that let me examine my priorities and gave me an opportunity to set them right.

The highlight of the entire year was me leaving the comfort of my own home and head to a totally foreign place - Glasgow, Scotland to do what i had to do. A brand new (or not) start, with brand new hope and responsibilities. Here I made new friends, strengthened old bonds and most importantly found people that became more like family than friends. It was also here, that I've seen things I never thought I would see, learnt things in new ways, been to places I thought only existed in postcards, and experienced things I could only dream of.

It was an eventful and fruitful year afterall. :)

No resolution made this year, simply becos it came so quick I was not even prepared for it. Well if I HAD to make one i guess it'll be to do better in everything that I do...and no regrets. perseverance is the keyword, carpe diem is the motto.

Not really looking forward to chinese new year at all. in fact i hope time would slow down a bit, as part of the JBC (James Blyth Court - my hall of residence) family would be going away for student exchange in a few weeks' time. This means there would be less noise, less laughters, and less people to cook and dine with..very depressing indeed.

Oh, no pictures of X'mas in london and new year eve/hogmany at edinburgh yet (no, not even on facebook) becos we buried ourselves in work as soon as we got back, barely have time to unpack let alone sort out the pictures. Give me sometime, if there is even anyone of you who is waiting to see pictures of us freezing our asses off in this foreign land...

Here's to a smooth sailing year ahead and er, smooth sailing week until my final presentation on Monday. cheers-bah.

Gong xi gong xi wtf

2009-12-18T14:08:00.003Z

Its the festive season again! Am listening to them chinese new year songs while trying to fight off sleep. I know right, why CNY instead of Christmas songs?! Our mind got so screwed up from the lack of sleep and too mcuh CAD-ing that we're doing really random and bizarre stuff. 30++ hours of slaving away and the presentation lasted barely 15 mins, with not much constructive criticisms.. I dunno what to make of this.

I thought of something that prompted this post but it was gone immediately - like the snow yesterday - but then it came back again after I typed the above paragraph.

I was hit with a sudden sadness that I didn't get the chance to properly socialize with the locals and the international students in my uni for the past 12 weeks that I was here...(seriously has it been that long?) Most of the time we were just swamped with mountains and mountains of work and it was just impossible to go partying without feeling the slightest tinge of guilt.

Seriously. Take this week for example. 3 freaking due dates consecutively. I mean, hello, architects are not god..... or maybe architects are just really bad with time management..

Anyway the point is...some of them foreign exchange students are leaving already and I felt kind of disappointed that I did not get to know them better. It's a shame really...one of the main point of studying abroad is to get to know the different people and their different cultures, which I'm missing out on.

I guess I need to manage my time better and stop turning down offers to hang out. The first step now would be to reconcile the relationship with my bed...it's been a long time. Oh lovely duvet, how I've missed you!

Bai.

Gibberish

2009-12-10T03:11:00.005Z

Something strike me today as I was walking home from the library. I've never really thought about this before (ok I was just being ignorant all this while) but come to think of it now...

Isn't it way too early for 17 year-old kids to decide what they want to do with the rest of their lives?

Too early to have to choose a career path..?

I mean, how the hell do you know that you're gonna be a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer and that you will love doing it?

What childhood dreams or ambition..I say this is all bullshit. It is all just fucking peer pressure and the glamor of it all.. The ability to say you're so-and-so..the ability for your parents to boast to their neighbors about the 5 digit paycheck you receive monthly.

I mean, seriously. 17? At this age kids are not mature enough to make big, life-changing decisions like this. At 17, they watch a movie about a pilot and they want to be pilots. And they spent the following 6 years learning how to fly a plane but by the 3rd year they realized oh pilots arent so fun afterall but there's no way out becos they're halfway there and there's just too much time and money spent on it to back out now. So they spent the rest of their miserable lives in the cockpit dreaming of all the possible jobs they could be doing and blaming no one in particular for allowing them to make that kind of decisions AT SUCH AN EARLY AGE!

Don't even get me started on kids who have their whole future mapped out by their parents and practically live their lives under the dictation of their parents.

I guess this is time for me to say kudos to american education system.

This is my speaking/blogging incoherently. One day Imma be the boss of a restaurant (or a few) and no one shall stop me from pursuing it.

.5

2009-12-07T22:47:00.003Z

"Lollipops turn into cigarettes. The innocent ones turn into sluts. Homework goes in the trash. Mobile phones are being used in class. Detention becomes suspension. Soda becomes vodka. Bikes become cars. Kisses turn into sex. Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground? When protection meant wearing a helmet? When the worst things you could get from boys were cooties? Dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth and mum was your hero? Your worst enemies were your siblings. Race issues were about who ran the fastest. War was only a card game. And the only drug you knew was cough medicine. When wearing a skirt didn’t make you a slut. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow? And we couldn’t wait to grow up".

Finally

2009-12-05T03:31:00.005Z

I love the night after a critique session. A night for us to loosen up for a tiny while before continuing the race.

Bliss comes in many forms - tonight its in a bowl and a bottle.

The weekend is here, no difference becos it will be spent on work. As usual. Bah. Looking forward to X'mas in London with my lesbo partner, but at the same time dreading it becos it means we're that much closer to final presentation in January.

Have a rocking weekend y'all, I'll try to make the most out of mine ;)

Tick tock tick tock

2009-12-02T02:35:00.004Z

I'm trying really hard...I knew it would be difficult but nobody said it would be this hard...one can't help but think of the future when so much energy and effort had been poured in. At the end of the day, will this be all worth it?

I keep telling myself to live in the moment, but it is always easier said than done.

Sunset captured from Stirling Castle

Carpe Diem

The grass is always greener on the other side

2009-11-26T22:33:00.002Z

Aaaarrrggghhhhh

This is so frustrating! I'm sorry all the recent posts sound either emo or frustrated. I do not have any interesting moments or happy story to share simply becos I haven't had any fun in a long time. Perhaps the only highlight last week was the dinner at a Malaysian Restaurant - Rumours where I had the most awesome curry laksa but it freaking cost a bomb 6.90GBP = approx RM42 for a big bowl of curry laksa WTF kill me bah. But it was really good and it was a temporary cure for our homesickness.

Consequence is a whole week of instant noodle and frozen food.

Abrupt stop becos I have to get back to work. That's right. There isn't a single day we go by without thinking of studio work. So much to do, so little time. Sometimes I wish I had chosen a different path. But over and over again I tell myself, once you make a decision, you have to stick to it.

Daily mantra : Do what you love, love what you do.

.4

2009-11-18T00:24:00.005Z

Its raining out there. Am having a cup of hot milo while typing this. Blissful feeling. Home.

As you can tell from the previous posts I was having one of those down moments in life, possibly one of the most depressive moments I've ever gotten. Shitty things happened, but instead of giving up I turned the anger into energy and worked my way back on track again. The result wasn't very satisfactory yet but its a good start.

After 2 hellish weeks with minimal sleep, we finally had a relaxing weekend to rejuvenate ourselves. First ever experience to the cinema (4.90GBP = aprox. RM28 ouch!) and an awesome daytrip to the west end of glasgow.

Autumn colors <3

Will be heading to London for X'mas then to Manchester for the Old Trafford tour! Can't wait :D But before that, I need to survive the remaining torturous 5 weeks which will surely leave me nyawa-nyawa ikan by the time Xmas rolls around. Bah.

.3

2009-11-08T16:35:00.002Z

Was reading my notes written in the journal given to me by Hayden, and saw the 'farewell speech' that he typed for me. At the end of it he included this quote, which I didn't think much about until now.

"One day at a time,
this is enough.
don't look back and grieve over the past
for it is gone.
do not be troubled about the future
for it has yet to come.
live in the present and make it so beautiful
that it will be worth remembering."

This time when I read it, it presented a whole new meaning to me. Mainly becos it was so apt for the moment, and I really needed some motivation and inspiration to move on.

Thanks, buddy :')

.2

2009-11-05T10:17:00.002Z

Life's too short. and family is jewel. That was probably the message my nightmare last night was trying to convey.

Caught in a dilemma here. How do you choose a side when both sides propose such strong pros and cons? How do you strike a balance in both, when you have absolutely no idea what you're doing?

These couple of weeks have been hellish...As I sat here typing this entry, I realised that I've been so caught up with work and gym (to release pent up emotion), and basically surviving this harsh environment, that I have forgotten how to sit back, relax, and have fun.

I do not remember the last time when I have absolutely nothing to worry about, when it was just me and a really good movie, or a really good book. The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown that I bought on the first week here is still lying beside my bed, I've barely gotten thru the first few chapters. The postcards that I bought on my first daytrip out of Glasgow, those that I've been meaning to write and post them out since forever, are still lying untouched underneath all those books that have the words 'sustainable architecture' printed on them.

Where have all my 'me-time' gone?

I just hope that at the end of the day, this will all be worth it.

.1

2009-10-21T00:45:00.003+01:00

An official update since I touched down in Glasgow.

Life has been interesting lately..hectic, filled with ups and downs, but interesting nonetheless. It's been a month (and 2 days) since I left the comfort of my own home. Despite the heavy workload (which I shall elaborate later, or not at all) I still feel like I'm on a vacation/holiday. I go to bed everyday thinking that I will be going home soon, after I'm done with all this shits. The fact that I'm gonna be here for a good 2 years has yet to sink in.

So what is it like to be here, (insert correct number here) miles away from home, from family and friends. Can't say its bad, but not perfect either. Lazy to post any photos..as most of you who (still) read my blog will probably have seen them on facebook.

I guess the most prominent change that I've experienced here other than the weather, oh and the fact that I have to prepare all my meals myself - is the way we're being taught and tutored in uni. All I can say is that we've finally grasp the definition of archiTORTURE, and it will probably reach new heights in no time.

Anywayyyy, for whoever that cares, I'm alive and kicking in the land of single malts (btw they implemented this new rule that only allows ppl of 25 years and above to purchase liquor wtf is this? oh but we can still buy la but need to show passport..like every.single.one.of.us who is there eventho only one of us is going to buy wtf)

so yea. later. cheers.

Behind the tears of a clown

2009-09-15T18:36:00.003+01:00

I guess we would have to walk a mile
In each others shoes at least
What size you wear? I wear 10's
Let's see if you can fit your feet

In my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what it'd be like

To feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each others minds
Just to see what we'd find
Look at shit through each others eyes

Don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful
They can all get fucked just stay true to you
So don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful
They can all get fucked just stay true to you

-Beautiful by Eminem

Forgot how much I used to love Eminem's songs.

Why do good things always have to come to an end? and why do good things come so late? Mama said don't play with fire..but it's too hard to resist.

At the end of the day I wish I had listen to mama.

I thot of a suitable title but then I forgot wat it was

2009-08-24T20:50:00.000+01:00

I'm mean. I'm grumpy. I'm selfish. I'm bitchy.

You know how we always call zyin the bitchy one but in fact I'm the one who is really the mean bitch. I say mean things to people, and sometimes I even do mean things to people. But really, people, I don't mean those things I say, well most of the times anyway. Other times I really do think you're a piece of useless shit and a total waste of space on earth. So most of the times I am just being funny (or I try to be, in my own sense of humour).

Would you people prefer me to be all fake and pretentious and call u 'dahling' or 'dear' and act all sweeety pie when in fact what I really want to say is 'hey, what? watever I don't give a fuck"

See, I really do not want to be fake and pretentious becos its so tiring. So when I give u the grumpy look and say mean things to you I don't mean to hurt you or anything. It's just me, being bitchy. And it's most probably cos I just woke up.

Do you guys understand what I'm trying to say? Don't say yes becos that will be a lie. I don't even know what I'm saying here.

And then there's this question I always wonder. Am I a patient or impatient person?

I get really really reaaaaally and i mean really impatient behind the wheels. Seriously, how do some people get their drivers' license is beyond me.

1. I get so pissed off everytime I pick my younger sisters from school. Seriously. These students have no brains. You don't own the road, so fucking walk at the side and let the damn cars pass. I swear one day I'm gonna run them down like bowling pins.

2. Fucktards who think their kids are the queens/kings of the worlds. Either that or their kids are handicapped and can't walk. You do not need to drop/pick up your child RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE SCHOOL GATE. It's okay if they just take a second or two. But some really take their own sweet time opening the back door, put their bags, close the door, open the front passenger door, climb in one leg, then the other, and close the door. WTF?

3. Fucktards who park their car in the middle of the road hence blocking all the traffic. I'm too tired to elaborate.

4. Buses. WHAT ARE BUS STOPS FOR?

5. MOTORCYCLES. WHEN I BECOME THE PM OF MSIA I WILL BAN MOTORCYCLES FROM THIS COUNTRY. too bad if ur poor and cant afford cars. walk, cycle, watever shit I don't care. and if you cycle in the middle of the road its perfectly legal for the car behind to knock you over. you deserve it.

6. Heavy vehicles ie lorries on the middle lane on highway. Please. stay on the slow lane if you're doing less than 60km/h.

7. EVERY FRIDAY AFTERNOON. I don't mean to be racist. But seriously...I would want to say you people do not own the roads, we pay as much road tax as you do, but some of you will you say you indeed own this country...and then -- oops I have to stop becos sked ISA.

There're many more other things that piss me off when I'm driving. I'm not the best driver but hey you do not have to be a F1 driver to be pissed about those things I stated.

The main point of this post is, I really feel like eating something now, preferably from the ramadhan bazaar. I don't fancy nasi kerabu but it sounds good right now. And nasi briyani too.

Needle vs scalpel

2009-08-03T17:03:00.004+01:00

Hi. This is me talking in point forms.

:: So, August is here. I have roughly 7 weeks left in Malaysia before I freeze to death.

:: I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeee! No more mundane life. I can now watch whatever movie I want at whichever day I want.

:: Gonna have to waste the first week of my freedom becos of this :

:: Yup got my appendix removed. Apparently I can now eat all the chili seeds I want without having to worry about appendicitis.

:: For this I've gained a 2 inches scar on my belly, and lost a tongue piercing, and risk having a navel piercing infection becos it still hurts now after I re-inserted my dragonfly stud few days ago. Oh and A LOT of Milo from concerned and caring friends of my mom. Now I do not have to worry about running out of Milo for the rest of this year. Thank you aunty-aunty sekalian.

:: I prefer needle to scalpel.

:: Eventho I'm not working anymore but I still have a long to-do list. Most of it require a lot of driving, a lot of walking, and a lot of waiting. I'm feeling lazy already.

:: This visa application thing is giving me a headache. wtf.

EDIT:

:: Turns out the hole of my tongue piercing is still there! The question is should I put it back now that my mom knew...

The rose

2009-06-06T19:33:00.002+01:00

The little girl sits at home, anxiously waiting for her mom to come home. Every 15 minutes, she peeks out from behind the curtain to see if her mom is anywhere in sight.

Today, while walking back home from the school, the little girl walks past a sweet old lady selling flowers at the sidewalk. There are roses, tulips, and sunflowers.

The roses are very pretty, they could very well be the prettiest roses the little girl had ever seen. They are also the favorite flowers of the little girl's mother. The little girl remembers this, and she thinks she could be a good girl and bring some happiness home to her mother today.

The little girl digs through her little pocket and finds the pennies that she has been saving. She counts them carefully and it is just enough to get a stalk of those beautiful roses.

She chooses the flower carefully, and finally decides on a blooming red rose that seems to be the prettiest rose among all. The little girl then skips home happily, all the while thinking of the smile that she will be putting on her mom's face later, and that makes her happy.

It's a quarter past six, the clock reads. Finally, the little girl hears the sound of her mother's car pulling into the driveway. She quickly gets off the couch and opens the door for her mommy.

The woman enters the house, gives a peck on the little girls cheek and heads straight into the kitchen to prepare for the family's dinner.

The little girl carefully holds up the rose that she bought, and jogs into the kitchen, where her mommy is seen busy cutting up vegetables.

"Mommy look, I got this for you!"

"Oh this is very pretty! Where did you get it?"

"I bought it, mommy."

"You BOUGHT it? How much did it cost?" The woman's face immediately darken, she does not like the idea of her young child spending money on unnecessary items.

The little girls notices the change in her mother's tone, and she whispered, "A dollar, mommy."

"Well if I knew it would be so expensive, I wouldn't have wanted it."

"Mommy, do you still want it?"

"Just place it wherever you like, honey."

And with that the mother turns back to her vegetables and continue cutting them.

The little girls turns around and exits the kitchen with her head tilted upwards. But try as she may, she could not stop the tears from rolling down her face.

watch it fly by as the pendulum swings

2009-06-04T15:44:00.002+01:00

It's hard to believe that the first half of year 2009 is coming to an end. As clichy as it may sound, it does really seem like it was only days ago that Lynn, Bev and I were mofo-ing around. When I think of December 2008, it really doesn't seem that far away.

June is sort of my favorite time of the year. June to August to be more specific. Becos it is the summer holidays and yes it concerns me becos all my favorite people are coming home and my social life will not be so pathetic anymore.

However this year my favoritest person of all is not coming back and it really upsets me a lot. God knows when we will meet again. The only consolation is that we both know no matter how far we're apart from each other, no matter how long we've not met/spoken to each other, our friendship will not be affected even a slightest bit.

June also means that I only have 3 months+ left in Malaysia. I finally received an offer from my univeristy of choice (yea the consequence of procrastinating).

Now, you may think I'm super excited over the whole i'm-going-to-uk thing but frankly speaking, I haven't felt an ounce of the excitement yet. On the contrary, I've been feeling like..I don't know how to describe it. It's like a whole potpourri of negative thoughts - partly guilt, partly remorse, and a whole lot of uneasiness of not knowing what to expect.

The idea of spending a large amount of my parent's saving again is eating at my conscience everyday. And eventho there's still more than 3 months away, I'm beginning to feel emo already. I'm gonna miss home so much =( I'm so gonna be an emo kid.

Should I go, or should I stay. I'd feel sad either way. Urgh.

P/s: I think I'm gonna fall sick soon.

The warm and fuzzy

2009-05-05T18:02:00.005+01:00

Stuff in my room that give me the comfort when I needed some.

A painting of the ocean lives using batik. It's a combination of 2 paintings - the one on the left is Lynn's while mine is on the right. It was done in Form 1 when we first got to know each other, before we became best friend. This painting was later featured in the school calender :)

A birthday gift from all of my closest friends on my 16th birthday. It was a real surprise that almost got me tearing.

Some purikura on the side of my wardrobe facing my bed. Memories of my friends and I in Korea and Singapore and here in K.L.

A photo montage done by Lynn for my 18th birthday.

I meant the laptop, not the game. We have gone thru ups and downs together. My only solace when I'm alone and far away from home.

Reminds me of the FFVIII craze when we were 14. Sigh, the things I have to do to collect these figurines. *coughmissionworldcough*

Fading photos pinned to the notice board. Clockwise from top: Four of us in front of the school hall, during Interact Club Installation Day(?) 2004, about 20 of us at Malacca in 2006, my eldest sister and I at a park, all of us excluding Ivan (who was the photographer) at Outback during Jovann's 17th(?) birthday.

Close-up of the piece of paper on the notice board. Written on exactly the same date last year - this is a ticket to the reunion with my college mates. We promised to meet at NY's Times Square 4 years later. so see you guys there :)

What's hidden behind the notice board. Who needs chocolate or ice cream when you have these. Noooo I'm turning into a man.

Need I say more?

The deflated balloon. Still emo over the fact that I didn't get to take a single photo with my awesome helium balloons that day.

Deja vu

2009-03-14T01:38:00.002Z

Hola I just got back from the office. After slaving away for 24 consecutive hours - went to work on Friday 9am and returned home on Saturday 9am. Those architecture students who think that there won't be anymore sleepless nights after they graduated is in for a big disappointment. Well that is if they stick to the profession of cos.

Gosh it was like college all over again - staying awake for more than 24 hours to rush the work. I hope this doesn't happen often or I might just collapse and die.

It's like blardy cheap labour...fresh graduates are so sought after becos they're a bunch of enthusiastic morons who are very keen to learn new stuff and gain experience and therefore will do anything you ask for a small amount of price. Yes I'm one of those enthusiastic moron. But I've not much complains since I did pick up a lot of stuff in just 2 weeks of time. Like, seriously, I think what I learnt in this 2 weeks is more than what I learnt in college for a year. That is how important working experience is.

Seems like all I ever talk about nowadays is work work work and work. I really have not much choice since that was the only thing I've been doing for the past 2 weeks. Seriously, this job is robbing away all my time and my youth. Dammit. Had plans to go out for a shopping therapy today but seems like its not gonna happen. Sleep sounds more appealing, much more appealing than the idea of non stop walking in a crowded space at this moment.

I have so much things to do - prepare personal statements, request and collect reference letters, meet with uni consultants for application, compiling portfolio, work, and a long shopping list. I barely have time to shit :( I don't know if i should feel happy or sad.

I shall put them aside for a little while, becos the biatch is coming back for a week of holiday(?) or I don't know la why she come back for 1 week only. Too rich perhaps.

So...yea. Good night.

The green leaf

2009-03-11T15:28:00.004Z

Warning: very long and wordy post.

*******************************

I think I'm going thru a transformation. wtf sounds like akademi fantasia - "satu transformasi akan berlaku" but its true, I'm feeling a major change in myself.

It could be just a temporal phase, or maybe I really am at a stage where change is inevitable. Contrary to the previous post, I realized that I kinda enjoy my work. Well I've only been in it for a week plus, it could be the 'freshness' that is exciting me, but I could foresee myself getting more and more into it as time passes by.

Sure, there will be times when I get stressed out about the workload and mainly my job performance, not to mention feeling exhausted becos the job is so mentally demanding - the feeling of going home after a long day of work is indescribable, I feel a great deal of self achievement and accomplishment, especially if I've just finished a task. That feeling, ladies and gentlemen, is far greater than the feeling when you successfully submitted your assignment on time in university.

Before I got myself this job, I was so worried about me not being able to survive after a few days becos of all the horror stories told by Hayden. But now, lookie, I'm having a great time! I always thot that maybe this would not be my career, but I can see myself doing this, for the rest of my life wtf.

Sigh words cannot describe how good I feel right now. A sense of purpose. I feel responsible!

Oh how could I leave out another major part, the part where I'm earning my own bucks :) The feeling of looking at those new figures in my bank account...ahhhh bliss.

Right I seem to have sidetracked a little. As I was saying, I felt a major change in me. Not only the part where I enjoy working (gasps still can't believe it) I feel like I'm getting older and more adult-like.

I began to question myself on the things I used to do, if I should continue being like that, an irresponsible teenager or embrace this newfound er, adult-personality. Well I can't say I've experienced everything a teenager is supposed to experience, but to me I daresay I've done pretty much what a normal teen (or a more rebellious one) could do. I mean - parties, clubs, booze, ciggies, sleepover, running away from home, car accidents, body modifications, going through college life (and graduated with a good grade btw) part time jobs, some illegal stuff....and etc. Now if only I had the chance to travel more.....

Well you get what I mean. Now, I no longer have those cravings to party all night or to get any more piercings or what nots. I just want to get to work, finish work, chill with friends over some drinks, maybe a day out during weekends, and I would be contented.

And I even began to ponder if I grew up the right way, was those thing that I did worth it, were they right, what would I be now if I'v chose to be someone different from what I am now, should I have lead another kind of lifestyle, should I correct it and lead a more proper and healthier life.

Gosh I'm only 21 years old but I sound like I'm 30. Fuck this shit. This better be a temporal phase. I still want to be young and energetic, not some lifeless 9-5 worker whose circle of friends is this laptop in front of her wtf.

Which brings me to another dilemma I am facing now. Since I'm quite liking what I do now (I'm sorta settled down and the thought of going thru all the uni application hassle is really not appealing to me), I was thinking of taking 1 year off uni, to continue working and only enrol in next year's intake. I've weighted the pros and cons but I still can't reach a conclusion. One of the pros is I will be more experienced in tackling my assignments when I enter uni later, the con is....if I don't enrol now, I will never do it! Yes me and my procrastination trait. But I really want to go to UK tho. sigh! What do you think?

Maybe I'm speaking too soon, who knows what will happen few months from now...maybe by next week a new post will pop up saying how much I hate my job wtf.

Damn this is a long ass post.

The road taken

2009-03-05T15:15:00.002Z

When I was in Form3, I thought PMR was the hardest thing. When it was over, I thot 'hey that wasn't so bad.'

2 years later, I thought sitting for the SPM was the most difficult thing I have to experience. When it was over, again I thought 'hey that was easy too.' Then, everyone started telling me that college was gonna be so much harder, I didn't believe them and just shrugged it off as an exaggeration.

How wrong was I. 3 years in the architecture course really tested my determination and endurance. It pushed me beyond the limits. And I survived.

Now, I have entered a whole new chapter of my life - the working adult life.

Okay, this is like...weird. I'm still trying to get used to the feeling that I'm no longer in a school, I can no longer fool around like I used to.

This IS hard. Working, is difficult. Gone were the days when I feel like skipping class whenever I want. I can no longer procrastinate on my work. No more leaving the class early. No more sleeping at the back when I feel like it. THIS is the real deal.

One thing I realized about myself, I was a 100% slacker back in school/college. I wasn't competitive. I didn't care if my classmates or tutors thought my work wasn't good enough (okay I cared a little...but not like, the world's gonna end becos they didn't like my work kind of sad)

However, whenever I work, be it a part time job or a full time real job (like this one) I find it really stressful for me. I tried hard to impress the boss, the clients and even my colleagues, something I never really bothered much back when I was in college. I really hate the idea of being branded as incompetent. I constantly feel the need to show and prove to them that I can do it, sometimes even as good as them or maybe even better than them eventho they're more experienced and I'm just a fresh graduate.

But it's not easy. Nobody ever said it was easy.

I am writing this post becos I feel downright disappointed with myself these few days for not being able to churn out some good designs. Sigh. I really tried hard and its just so frustrating. Shit now I feel more miserable after writing this down.

I shall just proceed to bed, wake up later and say to myself:

"Today is gonna be a good day".

TGIF.

ramblings

2009-02-16T19:39:00.002Z

Laa dee dum.

I'm in a dilemma right now. I want to learn to play the guitar but I also want to keep my long fingernails. Actually I don't know why am I even learning it becos I'm so tone deaf I can't even tell the difference between C and D wtf.

I still want to buy a guitar pick.

Tomorrow's gonna be a fun day....new experience awaiting. It's only February and I've experienced a lot of 'firsts'. I foresee more 'firsts' happening to me this year. 2009 is the year of firsts. yea.

Too many people leaving for Australia. Went KLIA to send some friends off on Sunday, will be going again on Wednesday. Airports are such sad sad place. But I like it. I wonder who's left to send me off when it's my time to go?

I woke up crying again today, during afternoon nap. Yea again becos it happened a few days ago too. Not like just a few drop of tears but really sobbing wtf. And it was the same damn thing but in two different dreams that made me cried. I wonder if its a sign.

I want to go to UK!

Specially for you!

2009-02-01T08:10:00.005Z

I remember the first time I met you, in year....2003? or was it 2004. In Burger King KLCC. You were wearing a sleeveless top. That was how I remember you, the guy with the sleeveless top. We barely talk then, and we never met again since. Fast forward a couple of years later, in year 2006, we met again, in Times Square's Border. That was also the first time I met Felix. Since then, our lives forever intertwine.

WTF.

Hahaha sounds like writing about my boyfriend/husband. No, this guy here is actually one of my closest guy friend - Ivan Hooi.

Everyone, this is Ivan Hooi. Eventhough he is a bit dark, but he is 100% chinese. HAHAHA

This guy here is leaving for Melbourne on the 3rd of February, which is the day after tomorrow. Another best friend leaving. For Melbourne. Damn you Australia! How many more friends you want to take away from me?!

Anyway, back to Ivan. This guy here is erm, very tall. (Is Ivan like, a name reserve for tall people or something?) He's one of those rare good guys you find nowadays. Yes, good with a tinge of badass attitude. Not too goody two shoes, not too naughty. Just the right amount of both. I guess that's why we can click so well? cos I'm like that HAHAHA wtf.

Sieutheng, Ivan.

Ivan is also one of the most determined and dedicated person I've known, very passionate in things that he does. I guess that was how he graduated from his college as the top student in Interior Design :) way to go, dude. I'm proud of you.

I'm sorry I couldn't join you in Melbourne as planned. I'm sure you're gonna have a blast there. Meet more people, drink more beer and score more chicks -- oops not anymore =p

Sieutheng and Ivan at Malacca for the Freedom rave 2008.

I'm gonna miss the time that we had together. Gonna miss hanging out together in Pavilion all the time. Eating good food, drinking good wine, watching good shows.

Sieutheng, Ivan, Edison playing poser at Pavilion.

Drinking wine at Laundry Bar, The Curve.

Us celebrating Dallas's birthday at Telawi Street Bistro.

The most important thing is....who's gonna help me with my assignment from now on!? I'm a noob in 3ds Max!! Now that you're gone, I'm also a goner =(

Once our favourite hang out place for sometime - Old Town Kopitiam at Ampang Waterfront. There was once we spent the entire day there, from the shop opened til it closed, because dearest Ivan was helping me with my assignment. :D

So when it closed, we had to move to somewhere else. We invaded Ivan's house.

Hah, just kidding about the 3ds Max. No more assignments! for now at least...But one thing for sure, I'm gonna miss doing stupid things together.

Everyone, the weird guy in blue shirt is Ivan.

I won't miss singing karaoke with you -- you like to spoil the songs! Everyone, the weird guy in straw hat is Ivan.

I will miss going clubbing with you, to see you get drunk and take stupid photos.

Us getting wasted in Port Dickson. Sigh that's not gonna happen again =(

Sorry dude, I didn't get to celebrate your birthday with you last year. But I was happy that you were able to make it for mine both last year and this year :D Oi, remember to bring the boxers I bought for you to Melbourne!

Felis, Ivan, Sieutheng, Dallas at Skybar celebrating my birthday last year.

Sieutheng, Lynn, Ivan, Dallas, Felix, and Eugene - at Lynn's house, drinking to my birthday this year.

I was a bit disappointed that I didn't get to spend much time with you during your last few months here. I know you were busy, but I have myself to blame too. Everytime I feel like giving you a call to meet up, the cb devil in me tells me "aiya nvm la, tmr also can." And before we know it, you're flying off tomorrow already :( And I haven't even met your girlfriend yet -.-

Ivan, Sieutheng. Farewell.

I don't know when we're gonna meet again. I'd be leaving for UK in September, and you won't be here to send me off. When you come back next year, I won't be here anymore. Hopefully we will be able to meet again during summer next year? or earlier.....if I don't get to go to UK. choi *touch wood*

Ivan, Sieutheng at Kuantan road trip.

Sieutheng, Ivan at Genting...last year?

I miss the herbal egg :(

To my dear friend who's lend me his guitar and taught me how to play (er not really actually), who lend me his Sims 2 and didn't scold me when I lost the dvd (er also not really, he kinda scolded me a bit), who helped me in my assignments when I needed help most (ok this is real), who knew about all my affairs, who were there for me thru ups and downs, who've seen me at my worst and best and still think no less of me (I hope so?!) -- I wish you all the best in the new place with new people and also lots of other new stuff. Don't drink and smoke too much!

We will miss you!

Take care! xoxo

and that was it

2009-01-26T14:27:00.003Z

It feels like it was only days ago that I wrote a post on my big two-oh birthday. Well, time sure waits for no man. I'm officially an adult now...and will try to be a tad more responsible in my doings. I've changed from who I was a year ago. From 25 Jan 2008 to 25 Jan 2009, a lot had happened, and I'm glad I learn from everything that has happened. I felt like I am a better person today. yea *nods to self*

Had been busy preparing for my glamorous birthday party since 2 weeks before the real deal. However it was still not perfect, not even near. Super badly organized. Had to change venue last minute, eventhough I spent a fortune (well to me it was a fortune) renting a 2 room suite at Darby Park.

But everyone had fun and that was the most important part. :)

Thanks everyone for making my 21st a memorable one. Thanks Beverly and Ivan for all the help. And a super mega big thanks to LYNN and her family, and her two kakak for the tremendous help they provided, without which this party would not have happened.

Its Chinese New Year! Happy collecting ang pao, everyone :) and don't gain too much weight from all the yummylicious food!

xoxo

The year that was

2008-12-31T21:40:00.003Z

It's the first day of year 2009 :)

This post came a little late. I intended to write this when I just graduated but as usual procrastination owned me. Anyway better late then never.

2008 has been one hell of a year for me. Initially I wanted to write about the ups and downs I experienced throughout the year, but I thought somethings are very personal and is better left unsaid.

I've learned a lot in year 2008. But the most important thing I've learned is that some people who said that they care, were never truly there but those who remain at your side the entire time eventho they didn't say much, were the ones who truly cared.

Am I making sense? This realization came a bit late but like I said, better late than never.

I've also learned to protect myself more. And with this new knowledge, I also lost something - I forgot how to love. But I believe in due time, it will come back slowly.

I don't believe in making resolutions becos I simply do not have enough will power to realize them. My previous year's resolution was to survive the year so that I could make the same resolution again. Hey look I'm still here, so I did it :D

Happy new year everyone :)

Whatever you like

2008-12-28T19:44:00.004Z

Right. So here I am, blogging from my ever faithful white laptop on this tiny miserable ancient coffee table in my room becos there's no study desk/table or chair in my bedroom. Its a mess here right now - a big box of architectural stuff to my right and a huge garbage bag full of..garbage to my left. and some old dusty paper bags filled with I-don't-know-what tucked away in a corner to my top right together with a out-of-tune acoustic guitar which doesn't even belong to me and more architectural junks that i can't be bothered to clean up.

all I want is just a new study desk, is that too much to ask for T__T

and also a new laptop la becos I really want to play some games but my laptop's specs are too low to support them.

and maybe some books to read becos I feel like I'm haven't done anything productive since holiday began.

Ok I realized I can blog better when I type in point form. Its more flexible....I can just type random things and it doesn't have to relate to the previous sentence. Like this:

1. I haven't watch any new movies since The Day The Earth Stood Still (which sucked, btw) eventho I'm on holiday. That's weird.

2. I very lazy to clean my room. But I can't stand it. But I also very lazy to clean. How ar?

3. Tonight I had dinner at ElCerdo and they have this fun tradition where you use a plate to cut the roast piglet, make a wish - have to choose between relationship or money - and then break the plate in a barrel to er symbolize good luck. Guess which I chose.

4. Very lazy to plan my upcoming birthday party la. Can you guys gimme surprise ar. I give you the money to organize it. hint: the surprise that I would really love would be you returning the money I give you but multiply it by 10 times or more. ok by now you guys should know what I chose when breaking the plate.

5. zzz

the season finale

2008-12-03T16:17:00.002Z

It's over! 3 years, gone in a blink of an eye. The final presentation went pretty well...Not hoping for an A but a B would be good enough.

well, a lot of things I want to say but I'm too sleepy now. Sleep comes first.

HOLIDAY!!!!

good night! (finally!)

sometimes words fail

2008-11-27T05:18:00.003Z

Sometimes I wonder what made me who I am today. Is it the lack of determination and will power? Too much disciplinary teachings shoved down my throat when I was younger? Or was it the lack of it?

Sometimes I wonder why I do certain things that I did. Sometimes I wonder why did I not do certain things.

Sometimes I wonder why, secretly, I enjoy pain. Why do I always put myself through pain, willingly and unwillingly, physical or emotional. On the surface I may seem like I'm having the worst time of my life, but when I search deeper, when I peel off all the layers and look into the very depth of the soul...I see myself enjoying the pain, becos I feel like I deserve it.

sometimes....

Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

2008-10-29T19:36:00.005Z

I think all tattoo lovers have some kind of masochism in them. We all love pain. We're all addicted to the rush of adrenaline and the endorphin that engulfs us as the pain sears through.

My crazy housemate and I recently invented this game called the pinching game. I actually invented it with my sis and brought it over here to mentari. It's really simple, the game. The pincher will pinch the other person's arm or thigh, and the pinchee will need to hold back the scream as long as possible.

It's not as exciting when I play with my sis, cos she has low pain tolerance you see. And she's a little girl, how strong can she be right. It's a different story when I play with HAYDEN LOO. It's not a fair game with him, after all he's a guy, and he is much stronger than me. But that's the main point!

Today we did it again. He showed me two little bruise that I inflicted on him days ago. The one on his arm looks more like a hickie to me. The one on his thigh, well, not as bad as what I got today.

Ya fat arm -_-

Hello say hi to my new friend the joker wtf.

DAMN MUTHAFUCKINGLY PAIN OKAY. And its swollen now. Of cos it looks worse in real life.

We even recorded a video but it was a boring one. I stopped it before I screamed so no video of me screaming.

Why did I do it? Besides the orgasmic feelings I get from it, the sore after that makes me feel alive. Sounds clichy? well it's true. Claire from Heroes will definitely understand what I'm saying. It's so cool that she can regenerate and is an immortal and all that stuff, but really, can't feel any pain? That sucks majorly. I'll never want to be in her shoe. Eventhough she's really pretty................

Physical pain, makes me forget the emotional pain and all the heartaches.

Should I go ahead and get my tongue pierced?

Edit: Presenting the many faces of my new friend the joker wtf.

Happy happy joker!

Petrified joker

Picasso in the making!

2008-10-09T14:21:00.005+01:00

Everybody, this is Yusof Gajah.

He is called Gajah becos he likes to paint elephants.
Today, he was in our college for a workshop, to teach us how to paint using acrylic.

I HAD SO MUCH FUN!!!!
I've always wanted to try oil painting (ya like how i wanted to learn guitar, violin, drum etc) but the difference is, this time i got to really try it and I have to say I'm loving it! Ya la its not oil paint yet but acrylic is the closest thing to it and its also more suitable for beginners like me.

Everybody, this is my empty canvas and my green apron.

And these are the acrylic paints.
Next I'm gonna show you guys what I painted but you all cannot laugh okay =(

Er, halfway there. The theme is environmental distress.

Okay the finished product. Don't laugh! The color looks better in real life. This painting took 3 hours. Honestly, I got bored and hungry after an hour or so. But it was also very fun! I enjoyed it more than making models.

The last time I held a paintbrush in my hand was about 2 years ago, using watercolor which I hate. I prefer drier media such as color pencil or pastels or in this case, acrylic! Oh, but I like batik on art block too for some reason eventhough its wet.

I know my painting is not like wahh wow omgdamnchun tears gonna come out wtf but I'm satisfied with it since it was my first try. I want to continue painting more, and explore different techniques and genres to find the one I like most. Before I started painting this I was in quite a dilemma, I couldn't decide whether I want it to be figurative or abstract...so I went with somewhere-in-between. And the choice of brush technique was quite...amateurish la.

Them arranging our artworks on the floor for feedbacks and also to choose some to donate to some pediatric ward. If I have known this earlier I would paint something more cheerful okay..and not go with the environmental distress theme. Oh that guy in the photo is one of Gajah's crew, and is a graffiti artist cum tattoo artist :D

More paintings. There were some really fantastic paintings, I hate these people cos they're so goddamn gifted.

I sold my painting to my dad for RM50 :D okay that's becos the workshop fee was RM50. But still..my first painting ever sold!

Surprisingly my dad is very encouraging this time around. He asked me to paint another one and if its really nice he would pay me RM200 and have it framed up. I told him the materials will cost a lot, he said he would sponsor me :D How cool is that?!

Yay, finally I found a hobby. /wuwuwu Let's pray its not another case of hangat-hangat tahi ayam.

We all wanna be on top

2008-09-27T19:15:00.003+01:00

This is what you get when you have a friend who has too much time on his hand.

you know you love me.
xoxo,
gossip girl.

The return of Heroes

2008-09-24T20:12:00.003+01:00

The new season of Heroes is back.

Are you ready for it?

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Enjoy!

Untitled

2008-09-22T07:21:00.002+01:00

I thought of so many things to say moments ago when I was in the shower. But now as I stared at the blank screen, I am at lost of words.

The previous weekend felt like a bad dream...Within a span of 24 hours, things can take a 360 degrees turn and there's no turning back of what I did.

I can't believe this is happening..I can't believe I made this happen. When things couldn't get anymore worse, I decided to take a dive and did something really stupid and regrettable.

I haven't felt like this in a long long time. I can't stop thinking about it, I've lost my appetite, I can't concentrate on my work, and I just feel like sleeping the days away.

I want to go home...

The prelude

2008-09-09T19:24:00.003+01:00

Am I an introvert? NOOOO

As a famous-architect-in-making, I would like you all to know a little more about me. Look at it as a prelude to my autobiography that will be published soon. Really. And those who know what is my favorite fruit will get an autographed version of the book, limited edition!

ok here it goes:

1. I am very open!
2. I'm a chameleon, I am many things at different points in my life, ie I'm very adaptable.
3. Some people find me a bit selfish and over bearing.
4. I'm an easy going person.
5. At times, I can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, I pull it together.
6. I have very active imagination and often get carried away with my thoughts.
7. I'm very prone to paranoia and jealousy. I sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.
8. I don't always resist my urges to crush the weak.
9. It's easy to get me excited..in certain things.
10. I have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. I don't stick with any one thing for very long.
11. I have the drive to accomplish a lot in very short time. The biggest problem is making sure I finish the projects that I started.
12. Sometimes I'm little guilty of being greedy.
13. I have a lot of questions about life.
14. I'm most comfortable when I'm far away from home.
15. I'm quite passionate and easily tempted. My impulses sometimes get me into trouble -- make that most of the time.
16. I tend to analyze every aspect of my life.
17. I value my time alone.
18. Often times, I'm grumpy with other people. I don't appreciate people trying to interfere with my affairs.

Ok to be honest I didn't come up with those things. I took a personality test and I picked out those I think describe me the best.

Pre order my autobiography now and get a kiss from me!

Randomness

2008-09-06T18:44:00.004+01:00

I think the best place to brainstorm is in the bathroom, during shower.

I've been very very productive the past two days. How? I spent most of my time rejuvenating my body. And by rejuvenating I meant sleeping. Ratio of hours awake and hours sleeping is 1:3

I had McDonald's today for dinner. I spent almost RM20. I hascheezburger wtf. No I had Quarter Pounder. with fries. and light coke. and a Oreo Mcflurry Mudpie that doesn't take any different from the regular oreo mcflurry. I've been conned.

The McD guy who took my order was really nice. I was being very picky with my order. I ordered a HappyMeal becos my cheapskate housemate wanted it. I asked if I could change the chicken to spicy, he said sorry, no. I asked if they could give me other parts instead of drumstick and wings, he said sorry, no. I asked if I could pick the toy, he said sure. I wanted Darth Vader. He said they only have Anakin and the Jedi spaceshuttlewateveritis. I dissappointedly said nevermind, anything will do. Later when the delivery arrived, I was delighted to find the mini Darth Vader inside.

There's a very big, I mean HUGE grasshopper outside my window. It's as big as my indes finger. It was there since I woke up this morning. And its still there now. It didn't even budge when it rained cat and dogs outside just now. It doesn't really look that big here. But I swear it's much much bigger in real. I think its actually Mask Rider in disguise, watching over me. Or it could be a spycam sent by a crazy neighbour. or my parents!

Prison Break season 4 is taking forever to download. Rumour has it that Sarah might make a comeback. And true enough she did.

Moonlight resonance is the shit I tell ya. My housemate and I and some other classmates are freaking addicted to it.

I regretted not going back home this weekend. Damn emo here.

Something happened to my navel piercing. I was lying on my stomach, watching Harold and Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay. It was a good movie, fucking hilarious. Anyway when the movie's done, I saw blood at my belly button. Lot's of it. Dried and messy. After I cleaned it up, it looked like this:I don't know what happened. It looked like the bottom piercing jumped from one spot to another. I freaked out. I heard about piercing migration, and I wondered if that was what happened. And will ya stop staring at that strand of hair.

"Don't make someone the priority in your life, when you're just an option in theirs" - I put this as my favourite quote in my facebook. Its time I adhere to it.

I should probably start on my work which was scheduled to be done by today, or yesterday to be exact before someone disown me from the group.

Yea I should go now.

Life's a bitch

2008-09-05T15:41:00.000+01:00

Fucking emo again. I blame it on PMS.

bloating stomach...check
agitation...check
irritability....check
difficulty in concentrating....check
depression...check
moodiness....check
crying spells.....check
acne.......fucking check

I'm so tired and bored of the same old routine everyday. I'm tired of attending classe. I'm tired of looking at the same people everyday. I'm tired of freaking out before crit sessions. I'm tired of worrying over money matters. Tired of counting every cent I'm spending...

Feeling very discouraged and unmotivated.

Got mindfucked again by the same people. Why do I never learn?

I need a getaway from all these..

I can't wait to graduate and leave here for good..and I hope like fuck UK is where I'm heading to after all this.

Nostalgic moment

2008-08-25T18:19:00.014+01:00

After a hellish weekend (zoo site visit, best friend's birthday, best friend's farewell, rushing of assignment to prevent getting 'sectionize' by group leaders etc) finally tonight I have a little time to breath.

Was browsing through my housemate/classmate/friend/diet partner Hayden's mp3 list..and was shock to find that he has songs from way back...classic songs from the 90's....songs from THE BOY BANDS!!!!

We had fun singing aloud to all those songs (yes we still remember the lyrics /paiseh) and reminiscing the old days.

Do you remember them?

We started with 911... How Do You Want Me To Love You, Don't Make Me Wait, All I Want Is You...etc!

Since we're at numbers, we can't miss out 5ive! Classic song is Until The Time Is Through! We still remember every.single.word. of the song..

Okay when you have 5ive, you must also have N'sync!! Hello there Justin! Luckily they got disbanded if not Justin Timberlake wouldn't be where he is today. I love you Justin /eyes

Moving on, is The Moffatts! Classic songs include I'll Be There For You and Miss You Like Crazy

98 Degrees. Wasn't a fan back then, but I like some of their songs - It's All Because Of You, Invisible Man, and The Hardest Thing.

Hanson with their signature long hair....Mmmmbop bop bop mmmbop~

Let me tell you a story of my friend who used to love Boyzone...She wanted to checkout their official website, and so she typed www.boyzone.com into the address bar. Hmm guess what. Check it out yourself!

Westlife, also the idol of my above mentioned friend. I don't particularly like them, but they have some really nice songs.

My all time favourite song from O-town (yes until today) is The Painter! It's a MUST HAVE in my playlist. I love the lyrics.

LFO. Classis song - Summer Girls

A1...not a fan of them. Can only remember the song Same Old Brand New You

BBMak! Also a must-have in my list - Back Here and Out of My Heart (Into Your Head) Very nice! Really wan..

Take 5, in my opinion was 1 of the ugliest boy band back then...Seriously, no selling point, no wonder couldn't make it.

Code Red! Don't play play, I have their autographed album okay! Shook hands with them too /eyes Also one of those boyband that died really quick becos not good looking enough (Haha sorry I damn superficial wan)

Yala yala I know you guys are wondering why I miss out the most important boyband of the 90's..Don't worry I won't!

BACKSTREET BOYS OMG IT'S THE BOYBAND OKAY. Until today I still know all their old songs haih I'm so proud of myself *pats myself on the back* When they made the comeback couple of years ago it's just not the same anymore, without Kevin, it feels incomplete (omg did I just made a pun? haha)

On to other popular and classic celebrities of the 90's!

Spice Girls! Like Backstreet Boys, they were THE girlband in the 90's, eventhough there weren't really lots of girlybands back then.

M2M...bleh. 3 songs - Pretty Boy, The Day You Went Away, Don't Say You Love Me, and Mirror Mirror. Okay 4 songs.

I actually disliked S Club 7...I don't know why. Not attractive enough I guess. But I used to catch their show on the Disney Channel. What's it called again? Can't recall.

Vengaboys! Scared or not??! The must-play songs at parties! I remember going to their concert in Stadium Merdeka with Su Ann back in standard 4 or 5...-.-;;

Gil Ofarim..Very leng chai despite the long hair. Sang If You Only Knew with The Moffatts and also It's Your Love.

Who don't know Savage Garden can go die ok. Classic songs are Truly Madly Deeply, I Knew I Love You and Crash and Burn. Su Ann do you remember Remus?!

Pop princess of the 90's. She still exists now but er, whatever la okay. I still love her songs though. Especially those slutty ones. heh.

The only one worthy of my attention that popped up after Britney. The others such as Mandy Moore and Jessica Simpson - I don't give a damn..

I shall end my post with some eye candy!

Remember him?! So adorable can die! I want candy~

Then he got rid of the center parting long hair, and still looked so cute!

After going MIA for a while, he returned looking as yummy as ever.

Delicious.

Why did you do drugs and most importantly why did you go out with Hillary Duff?!?!?! Urgh. I'm so disappointd in you. But you still look yummy, so whatever la. *licks*

Enjoy the video!

Hello world wont you listen

2008-08-09T17:52:00.005+01:00

Hello hello how's everybodeh? Only 2 weeks had passed since college started but I'm already dying. Too much work, too little time.

sucky stuff aside, I'm actually enjoying my time here in this new but not so new place :D Moved back to this really lousy condo next to my college, sharing a house with 2 siao classmates and having siao-er classmates as neighbours on my left right. Makes me miss home less I must say :D

and yesterday, we managed to throw my biatch Su Ann a surprise farewell party. Stupid girl is leaving us in 2 weeks time for NYC #$*@)%*@%) to pursue her studies in Columbia University :( First Lynn, now Su Ann. Who's going to endure all my bitchings and share with me their sexy times stories huh huh huh. /wuwuwu

Party was organized in a short time frame mainly becos we were all very caught up with our work..especially me and my co organizer Aira who's all the way in Tronoh some ulu place. I was really worried that we won't manage to put it all together but fortunately with some help from friends like Christine, Jin Hang, and Haow Kang, everything went as planned :) the only drawback was that Julian aka Martian was not able to make it. Thanks, guys, and everyone who came, thank you for making it somewhat memorable for Su Ann la. Hop over here for pictures. (Actually I think she knew of the surprise wan lo...just act like dunno cos dun wanna disappoint me wtf. I mean, why did she bring a polaroid camera along la..sure know something's gonna happen. RIGHT??)

Ok back to sucky stuff. Last week I went to a placement center to inquire about furthering my studies in Australia and UK. fuck la it's so expensive can. Totally out of my expectation.. I mean I expected Melbourne Uni would cost a lot (RM150k/year) but I thought UK would be cheaper, places like Strathclyde or Robert Gordon but apparently they cost the same? The only consolation is that UK is very generous in giving out scholarships , where as it's almost impossible to get any financial aid in Australia.

During the holiday I gave this thing a lot of thought and I had somewhat convinced myself to forget about going to Melbourne Uni and give Strathclyde a chance instead. But now I'm not even sure I can go there :(

My housemate brainwashed me into joining them at Manchester..and seriously, it sounds very appealing. It would cost the same as going to Melbourne too.

Let's say, IF my father is capable of sending me to Melbourne (RM150k a year! - and that's a very tight budget) should I go there? or should I go to Manchester becos REALLY, it sounds more fun than going to Australia.....and they cost abt the same.

Sigh. I'm prepared for the worst case scenario..to drop out for 1 year and join Taylor's in year 2010 for their degree programe.

This depresses me.

Lalala

2008-07-24T17:59:00.003+01:00

Lalala classes are starting soon...Dreading it since forever but on the other hand I'm a bit excited too. The new timetable seems fine.

Gonna be my last semester. 4 months later I will be a diploma graduate. What will the future hold?

Melbourne? Strathclyde? or Malaysia?

Lalala. bye.

Highschool tag

2008-07-10T09:15:00.010+01:00

Highschool tag! I shall do it becos it will be interesting!

DO YOU REMEMBER HOW HIGH SCHOOL FELT LIKE?
LET'S SEE HOW MUCH YOU REMEMBER AND HOW MUCH YOU REGRET.

1. Who were your seat mates?
Form 1 was this new girl - Lynn-Nee! She's a weirdo I tell you. When she first came to sri garden she was so nice and quiet. But hor, once u get to know her, omg her weirdness is damn contagious. We were bus mates too! We have many very funny bus experiences that never fail to make us laugh whenever we talk abt them. After that we became car mates, cos she lives the nearest to me so we often travel together when we go out. But now she's in Melbourne :(
Form 2 onwards was Su Ann all the way til Form 5. Very sian, every day also had to see her face. She always conteng my books, scribbled her crush/bf's names all over them and also on my desk. Very gross wan. Oh let's not forget the 'I'm-in-love' grinnings and giggles during Form 2. sigh. Then she liked to molest me also :( Actually, in Form 5 I didn't really have a seat mates becos she was absent so frequently. But our tables were arranged in very weird ways so I usually sat at her place when she was absent, and my seat mate then would be Sze Yin. Please don't laught at the photos *_*

mean girl pose with my seat mate

TAK NAK

Smoking matches.

My seat neighbours.

2. Still remember your English teacher?
Hmmm. Ok I remember Ms Mabil, who wears the same pants and same tops every freaking day. There was once she came in something new, and everyone went O.O
Then there was Mrs Ho, don't really remember much abt her except that she has a hot son who would come pick her up everyday after school.
After that..Pn Siti? I don't really like her, don't remember the reasons. Something to do with ISM competition. Oh yea, in Form 3 we had an English teacher that came and taught us for only ONE DAY and then she quitted the next day cos we frightened her away. HAHA.
The best English teacher is no doubt Encik Iskandar!! He resembles this monster in Final Fantasy 8 called the blobra and that was the nickname we gave him. Encik Iskandar is a very nice teacher becos he never scold us /eyes. But he always throw sarcastic remarks at us T__T We went back to sri garden last week for a visit and he was still the same sarcastic person we know :D

Blobra

Encik Iskandar

3. What was your first class?
Meh? first class? Form 1 S? Our class names derived from the name sri garden.. Form 1 S, 1 G, 1 A, 1 R and so on.

4. Made friends to the lower years?
Erm..some.....thru clubs and societies and sports. Yea, other than that I didn't hang out much with juniors/seniors. Heck we didn't even hang out much with the other classes of same batch especially the art stream students. We were labelled the arrogant class for some reasons. Sigh. Maybe we were anti social le, not arrogant. Not all of us tho, some of us mix with them pretty well.

5. How was your class schedule.
Class from 8.30 (or was it 8am?) til 3.30pm, with 1 break and 1 lunch in between. Co-curriculum activities were on wednesday mornings. And..that is all I remember.

6. Made any enemies?
I'm damn well liked okay! wtf. No enemies. Make love, not war! .............
Ok la, the only 'enemy' I remembered was Su Ann in Form 1. A huge misunderstanding. MISS LIM DO YOU REMEMBER THE LETTER YOU WROTE TO ME AND YOU ANNONCED TO THE WHOLE WORLD THAT I HAD A CRUSH ON MARCUS SAM wtf I will never forgive u for that *_* and then when you were going out with EeYang you told him I used to like him in standard 4 *_* why is my bestfriend like this T____________T

7. Who was your favourite teacher?
Well I don't have a favourite teacher. But I do like some of them who had taught me before - Mr Mani who taught us Sejarah and also gave us tuition on that, Ms Doh who taught us modern maths in school but gave us tuition on Add Maths and Physics, Encik Adenan who taught us Chemistry. Oh and of cos Encik Iskandar mentioned above.

Encik Adenan! We call him the Gimli becos he very short XD

Su Ann's lame joke:

Su Ann: If I were anode, then you are....?
Adenan: Cathode... (ketod = short)

8. What sport did you play?
From Form 1 til Form 3 I used to play volley ball. Then in Form 4 and Form 5 I didn't have PJK lesson anymore becos I took up Pendidikan Seni. I like sports ok! I ran for my house every year during the annual Sports Day. and win. wtf.

9. Did you buy your lunch?
Rarely. We have break in the morning already so we don't usually eat during lunch.

10. Were you a party animal?
Hmmm. I wouldn't say I was a party animal, but I enjoyed hanging out with friends. The parties came later on - during Form4 and Form 5 :D

11. Were you well known in your school?
I was just someone mediocre back in high school. Our school population wasn't that big so I guess we kind of know each other, if not by names then by face. My batch isn't huge either so I think everyone knows everyone.

12. Did you get suspended/expelled?
Haha nooooo. I was a good student :D I was a tiny bit rebellious but was careful not to cross over the line. :)

13. Can you sing the school song?
OH YEA BABY. I went back to sri garden recently, and we joined the students in their assembly. I can still sing the school song!

We gather here today
United as we stand
That we will grow with you
Sri Garden our school
Always in progress to be the best
Way above the rest
Together hand in hand
Together here we stand
Together we will shine
With loyalty, wisdom, and pride
We pledge for exellence
No room for ignorance
With knowledge that we gain
Sri Garden will reign
Always in progress to be the best
Way above the rest

I still remember during the Form3 year end trip to Endau Rompin, we sang this song aloud during the night ghost trail becos we were scared XD

14. Your favourite subject?
meh!? I don't have any favourite subjects...T_T hmm..maybe pendidikan seni, cos we didn't have to do anything, just chilled at the art room. Or...English? The most relaxing class. All the other science subjects - Chemistry, Physics and Bio were very fun too..our chit chat time cos we never pay attention when teachers were teaching.

15. Did you go to the dances?
Dances? as in prom? Yea was in the prom comittee and attended the graduation prom. I have to say our batch's prom was the BEST prom ever becos it was just so well organised and everything was just so...awesome. We became the benchmark for the juniors, as they all try very hard to surpass us but so far nothing came close.
My prom partner? Darren Yap! It was a very strange decision but I never regretted going with him. He was a very good partner and also a very good friend. :) But meh, I think he regretted going with me cos the entire night I was busy running here and there to help out with everything, it almost look as if he came without a partner, heh. Oh and the food was great, eventhough I didn't get to eat much.

The four of us!

All of us!
L-R: Ivan, Lynn-nee, Szeyin, Rebecca, Christine, Beverly, Suann, Me, Waimin, Aira, Jovann

16. Where did you go most often during breaks?
The first break, of cos the cafeteria. By that time everyone would be starving, all eat like hungry ghosts. The cafeteria used to have really nice food... but it deteriorated as times passed by. I remember the most hangat food was the curry laksa, the asam laksa, and nasi lemak! Always sold out very fast :\
During lunch time, we weren't allowed to remain in our classrooms, so we hanged out at staircases wtf. There were many different staircases that we used to hang out at, depending on the location of our classroom. Those were the days.

Chilling at the staircase. In the photos are Waimin, Patricia and Natasha, all whom I haven't seen in ages.

17. If you could go back in time and do it all over again, would you?
Erm, yes and no. Yes becos highschool gave me lots of memories, both good and bad. And it was the place where I found all my besties. Would never trade them for anyone else. No becos I do not want to do PMR and SPM all over again T_T

18. What do you remember most about highschool?
Too many stuff! The crushes, the dramas, the gossips, the exams, the trips, the teachers, all the time we spent together. Everything. I love my highschool life not becos of the school, but becos of the people around me, becos of all the funs we had together, the tears we shed, and the things we learned together.

Last class photo of high school :(

Epic adventure

2008-07-01T06:55:00.050+01:00

Blogger and streamyx haven't been good to me, therefore the delayed post on my trip to perhentian.

Since we graduated from Sri Garden, every year we would have a 'class trip' to bond our friendship becos we love each other like that.

Year 2006 - Malacca
Year 2007 - Penang
Year 2008 - Pulau Perhentian
Year 2009 - Europe wtf.

It took me three days to upload all these photos okay. Please appreciate my effort T.T

Us at Kuala Besut before taking the ferry to Perhentian.

Perhentian Besar, where we stayed.

No top-up for Digi. Discrimination.

The estrogens.

The testosterones.

Group photo!

We saw our first sea cucumber! There're sea cucumbers EVERYWHERE in the perhentian ocean. We have many sea cucumber stories which I'm too lazy to share.

Look at all the fish! I got freaked out immediately when I went into the water T.T

I conquered my fear!

This is Justin, dead after 10 mins of snorkeling. He pukes everywhere he goes - last year he puked in midair while parasailing. This year he puked into the ocean while snorkeling.

Lost season 10

Another group photo without Su Ann.

With her this time.

The stand-on-rocks photo that everyone must take when they go to the beach.

??? Moar? Okay!

:D

Once upon a time, a sailor lost his ship in a storm and he got washed up onto a shore.

On the beach he saw Fredo, a drifter who got stranded on the island alone for the past 20 years.

It was lust at first sight!

They couldn't control their hunger anymore.

....

Rolling on sand

and roll.

Keep rolling.

Still rolling.

Swiss roll wtf.

Wheelbarrow

I don't know what is this called, not in my sexpedia.

And they successfully populated the small island. The end.

Can you feel how soft the sand is /eyes

Them boys cleaning their butts in the water.

With their pants off T___T

We stopped at a watchtower and these people start throwing themselves off it. I did not do it becos height+deep ocean = the death of me. 2 of my phobias combined together its not funny okay. I do not want my life to end this way T.T Anyway that was Darren taking the first leap.

Freddy doing a ballerina thing.

Christine.

Su Ann.

Jin Hang.

Ben tripped and fell.

Darren again.

Jin Hang again.

Freddy looking like an egyptian. I don't know why they keep jumping off la like its very fun like that. -_-

A very funny photo of Jin Hang before he landed into the water.

On the third day we took a water taxi to Long Beach which is located at Perhentian Kecil.

First we built a very tall pyramid, destroyed it and dug a very big hole for no reason.

Us in our hot tub!

By that time my legs couldn't feel anything anymore. Almost needed an amputation.

Didn't forget to camwhore eventho we were at risk of losing the bottom halves of our bodies.

Before the crazy banana boat ride.

Very painful okay!

This is us marching into the jungle, oblivous to the fact that we were gonna have the best perhentian experience ever.

THE EPIC ADVENTURE:
Basically the story goes like this. We were at Long Beach, we decided to cross over to another beach - Coral Bay to watch the sunset. At 6.30pm, we left long beach and started towards Coral Bay. According to locals the walk would take us about 10-15 minutes. After about 5 minutes of walking we reached a junction. There were 3 different routes, we had to decide on one. Since the locals said we are supposed to jungle trek to Coral Bay, I voted for the path leading into the jungle. So the 10 of us, in slippers, bikinis, boardshorts and wet t-shirts went into the jungle just like that.

We were careful to follow the pathway and the red-and-white Awas ribbon to avoid getting lost. However, after 30 minutes of walking we were still in the jungle and it looked like we were no where near any beach. A few opted to backtrack, but the others and I insisted that we go forward. I mean, those Awas ribbons would eventually lead us to somewhere, right?! How wrong was I!

We continued trekking for another 10 minutes, by this time, the sun had begun to set and we had already spent 40 minutes in the jungle. It was quite clear that we chose the wrong route. But we continued to go forward.......Another 5 minutes gone by and it was starting to get dark.

At this point...some of us started to panic. We didn't have any torch light or water with us, and some of the guy's slippers were torn. Fortunately, we had 2 mobile phones with us, and most importantly, there was signals! So a lot of calls were made to a lot of different people to seek help. We called our chalet, asking them to send some ppl with torch light to come in and rescue us. It took us very loooooong to explained to the people that we were LOST in the jungle and it was getting DARK. Darren called his mom, whom contacted the Kuala Besut police.

We decided to backtrack and run as fast as we can becos it was getting REALLY dark. By some 'devine intervention' we ended up at another wrong route (not the way we came from), but it was a blessing in disguise as we found out that the route leads to a very steep path that bring us to a beach. So one by one we hold tight to the rope tied there and half-walked and half-slided down our way onto a cliffside. From there we made our way to a tiny secluded beach that has nothing.

By the time all 10 of us made it to the beach it was already total darkness. Luckily, there was a diving boat nearby and he saw us waving frantically at him, and came to our rescue. The kind man sent us to Coral Bay jetty, which was DAMN FREAKING FAR FROM WHERE WE WERE. T____T

Moral of the story: Do not follow the Awas sign. It means danger. wtf.

You probably can't see anything besides the bright orange life jacket. This is us at the tiny beach waiting to be rescued T.T

So yea, we reached the Coral Bay jetty, and the people from our chalet came and picked us up. When we were back at the chalet almost everyone knew of our little escapade and kept making fun of us T_____T We made history okay, the first ever visitors to get lost in the jungle at perhentian. *_*

Grateful that we can still have our dinner that night /wuwuwu

This is what we did everyday after lunch. Nap by the beach. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

Ahem..according to Ben, he was awake and he thot Jin Hang was playing so he played along. But according to Jin Hang, he was really asleep and he didn't know what he was doing. hmmmm /wiggle

The guys are obsessed with sand! They build stuff every beach they go to.

On the last day we were content with just having picnic by the beach while waiting for ferry to pick us up. No more epic adventure okay.

Not gay.

Photo outside our rooms at Cocohut.

Last group photo at the jetty before leaving Perhentian. We all look like kelings already.

The end byebye.

sunshine and love

2008-06-28T16:34:00.002+01:00

hello everybody the prawn just came back from Pulau Perhentian with the besties and we had one of the best trip evahhh.

No photos yet cos haven't collect all from the friends. Meanwhile you can hop over to pinkpau's site for some sneak previews first :D

we have the best perhentian experience i bet no one can top that! will elaborate more on that next time.

sigh now i'm so fugly cos over-tanned :( roasted. sisters said i look like indon maid :(

stay tuned for the photos. :D

Island in the sun

2008-06-17T09:35:00.000+01:00

When you’re on a holiday
You can’t find the words to say
All the things that come to you
And I wanna feel it too

On an island in the sun
We’ll be playing and having fun
And it makes me feel so fine
I can’t control my brain

hip hip
hip hip

When you’re on a golden sea
You don’t need no memory
Just a place to call your own
As we drift into the zone

On an island in the sun
We’ll be playing and having fun
And it makes me feel so fine
I can’t control my brain

We’ll run away together
We’ll spend some time forever
We’ll never feel bad anymore

hip hip
hip hip
hip hip

On an island in the sun
We’ll be playing and having fun
And it makes me feel so fine
I can’t control my brain

We’ll run away together
We’ll spend some time forever
We’ll never feel bad anymore

-Island in the Sun by Weezer

I <3 Malaysia 2

2008-06-08T19:22:00.005+01:00

The fuel price hike was a sudden blow to me...

Me: I'm going to pavilion.
Mom: How u go?
Me: Drive.
Mom: Why drive?! Can't you take the bus or something?
Me: ......

If this is how its going to be every time I want to go out, I doubt I'd be going out much.

I found a new entertainment - Government + PakLah bashing and the debates between BN and opposition supporters at lowyat.net forum. Seriously, there're so damn many jokers and funny people there I can't help but laugh at the things they posted. Even more entertaining than watching Kungfu Panda (not like I've watched it but you get the idea)

Presenting to u some of their masterpieces:

Pak Lah FTW.

I <3 Malaysia

2008-06-07T17:38:00.000+01:00

Malaysia boleh...?

A day in the life of the miserable prawn

2008-05-26T21:15:00.003+01:00

I guess its time I update my very dead blog. No I didn't have fun eventhough I'm on holiday. Well actually I did, until I realised I'm too broke to continue having fun. So yea. This is what I did today (or yesterday, since its passed 12am and some ppl are very anal about this thing).

What Prawns Do When They're On Holidays But Too Broke To Go Out And Have Fun

07.40am: Got woken up by a text msg from ms Lim Su Ann asking me to go out for movie and dinner. Replied that I can't make it. with a sad smiley face. wat, im broke. Continued sleeping.

09.40am: Got woken up again by text msg from the same ms Lim Su Ann, but fell asleep again before I could reply her.

11.00am: A very displeased mom came in and woke me up. Ordered me to go out and help her buy groceries.

11.30am: Finally woke up. Replied Lim Su Ann's text and went to shower. After shower, did a bit of laundry. Then asked mom what she wanted me to buy. Got screamed at becos I didn't know what kind of tofu she wanted. Hate it when parents fight and they take it out on us. Got my lil sis to write down the list of groceries and headed out.

01.00pm: Came home. Bought chicken rice for lunch. But didn't eat first cos wasn't hungry. Went online - check mails, facebook, friendster, blogs, lowyat.net, and chatted with some ppl.

02.00pm: Ate chicken rice while watching movie on Astro.

03.00pm: Sis using my laptop to watch 27 Dresses. So resorted to the lousy desktop to go online. Wanted to play some silly flash games, but it was taking forever to load.

04.00pm: Got pissed off with the ah pek pc and went to lie on bed. Accidentally fell asleep.

07.00pm: Woke up. Joined my sisters who were playing PS1.

08.00pm: Had dinner while watching tv and reading the morning newspaper.

09.00pm: Bonding session with sisters. Played more old games on PS1 - The bubble game (dunno what issit callled, u know the one where the cute dinosaur shoots coloured balloon upwards and 3 or more with the same color will burst), CTR, Bishi-Bashi. Lost all games to my sisters. Damn I used to dominate in those games.

11.30pm: Showered. Attempted to install SDO-X on my laptop so I could play with my younger sis. But the patching and all was taking forever. Got a call from mr Edison Seet asking me to go driving range tmr at 8 freaking am. No thanks. Eventhough I want to work out but you can exclude me from any activities happening at A.M., at least for this week.

12.00am: More bonding session with sisters - fighting, playing monkey (was actually bullying the youngest sister). Got scolded by dad for making hell a lot of noise.

01.30am: Went online after all sisters had retired to their bedrooms.

2.00am: Felt hungry. Had instant noodle (tomyam flavour yummm) while watching very boring shows on Astro.

3.00am: Went online. Played a bit of SDO-X. Got annoyed cos it was so laggy.

3.30am: Blog-hopped.

4.00am: Here I am. Ok going to sleep. Good nite.

PS: we all can expect the same routine to happen when I wake up later.

Life is empty without assignments.

2008-05-14T09:15:00.003+01:00

no more sleepless nights.
no more constantly drawing invisible timetable in my mind.
no more waking up abruptly to continue assignments.
no more seeing sunset then sunrise in digital lab.
no more freezing in said digital lab.
no more worrying about hardisc crashing.
no more driving in sleepy mode, endangering everyone on the road.
no more midnight snacks to keep me awake.
no more rejecting invitations to go out.
no more feeling guilty for doing something else other than assignments.
no more sitting in front of the computer for 24 hours straight.
no more............

SAY HELLO TO HOLIDAY!!!!

ps: I don't want to work but I NEED to work cos I'm broke. spent all my allowance within a week. I'm the queen. any nice job up for grab? let me know.

Fading

2008-04-29T20:36:00.002+01:00

This photo was taken about 4 years ago, on Jovann's birthday.
And its fading.

I think I need to embrace a religion. Being a free thinker has too much freedom. I need guidance and rules...I'm beginning to realize that I'm getting wilder, some of the things that I do are getting out of hand. Where's my guilty conscious? Where's my self-respect?

need to love myself more.

Dear God

2008-04-20T08:57:00.002+01:00

Found this site through Joshua, and some of the entries really touched me.

I'm not a religious person, never was and I guess never will be. I'm not an entire atheist, I do respect religions and religious people as long as they're not the extreme type who looks down on other religions and forces me to embrace theirs.

Sometimes I even envy and admire their strong and unwavering faith towards their religions, and I wish I have half of those. But I guess it's difficult becos of the way and environment in which I was brought up.

In times of desperation, I do pray..and hope to receive guidance and strength to help me through. But to whom the prayer is directed to, I have no idea. And most often then not, I feel silly after that and laugh at myself.

Maybe that's why I'm always a failure in things that I do.

hmmm.

this is HARDCORE

2008-04-18T01:10:00.000+01:00

Question: Who is THE queen?

Answer: CHEN SIEU THENG

Yes, me, I am the queen! Why, I hear you ask?

your majesty hasn’t slept for almost 48 hours, and is really pushing the limits becos later I have 2 classes (4 hours each) with 2 presentations that I’m totally unprepared for, 1 which should start in approximately 30 minutes time. Oh, and also a submission. Life is wonderful, isn’t it?

Right now, I’m fucking sleepy + hungry + cold + grumpy + exhausted + pms-y + smelly (yala the last shower I took was 24 hours ago)

So tell me, am I the queen or what?!

And also…been having this urge to pass motion for a long time..but college’s toilets sucks and so if I cant do my business in peace might as well not do it right wtf. Ok I know right now I’m the most disgusting person on earth but bear with me for a while ok I’m not usually like this. In fact I’ve never been like this before!

Anyone want to tell me how to survive the next 8 hours?

Tagged

2008-04-10T05:06:00.003+01:00

An attempt to revive my dying blog:

Tagged by Marcusess

Instructions:
Remove 1 question from below and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post.

(the replaced question shall be marked with #)

1. Does faith and religion play an important role in your life?
No, i'm too much of a free thinker and a pessimist to be religious and have strong faith.

2. If you can turn into anything, what do you wish you can turn into?
I want to turn into a witch! Not those with crooked nose and twigs for hair but like Hermione Granger in Harry Potter and go to school at Hogwarts and get married to Draco after we graduated wtf.

3. How are you feeling now?
Disorientated and hungry becos i just woke up

4. Where is the place that you want to go most?
I don't know, anywhere la.

5. If you have ONE dream to come true, what would it be?
To have a fulfilling life.

6. Do you believe in seeing the Rainbow after the rain?
Literally, yes. Metaphorically, er, sometimes?

7. Do you do anything weird?
Eh no la i'm as normal as a normal person can be. If you ask all my friends they would say the same thing :D

8. What cheers you up for the rest of the day?
Good friends, GOOD FOOD, good lame jokes wtf.

9. If you meet someone you love, would you confess to him/her?
Only if i know that he loves me too. eh, cannot, if he loves me then he must be the one to confess. I'll confess after making sure there wont be any harm done or after i've fallen out of love with him.

10. List out 3 good things of the person who tagged you.
- Very passionate in things that he does
- a good gossip partner? haha
- warm, friendly, and cute! like a mouse :P

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
Sensitive, understanding, caring yadda yadda and the list goes on and on. -.- must have own car also wtf.

12. What type of person do you hate the most?
Super kiasu, childish, perverts, wannabes, posers, holier-than-thou, calculative, and girls who act cute to get attention.

13. What would you do if you won a million pounds?
Save it for my education, sponsor my family on trips, and invest the rest.

14. What is your ambition?
To become someone influential. or to breed the best siberian huskies if i fail to become someone influential..............

15. What would you wanna be/do after you're dead?
I will become a ghost and haunt everyone. I don't know la i'm already dead, also need to think so much ar?!?

16. If you have a choice, which part of your character would you like to change?
My laziness :(

17. What would you most want to achieve right now?
To finish all the assignments on time arggghhhhh. already failed la cos apparently we have to submit this assignment today but right now i'm still sitting at home and the said assignment is untouched. Go me.

18. What do you think is the most important thing in life?
the 3 F's - FOOD, FRIENDS, and FAMILY
and another F - FUCKING haha sex is important also wtf.

19. If there's one thing in your life you want to do but yet unable to, what would it be?
Backpack around the world.

20. What is your favourite food? (#)
don't blame me for putting such a shallow question becos i really hungry now and all i could think of is food. my favourite food is...! too many i cannot decide! let me list out my current cravings:
1. crabsssssss
2. strawberry cheesecake ice cream
3. wendy's
4. durian cendol from malacca
5. sushi
6. durian pancake
7. pancakes with honey/maple syrup/vanilla ice cream
8. anything edible *_*

who i tagged:
anyone la

SS post

2008-03-29T16:03:00.003Z

First of all, congrats to my biatch Su Ann aka pinkpau for making it to the finals of ESUM Public Speaking Competition. Eventho you din get to go to London but ur already a winner in my heart (omg so cliche) I'm proud of you :D

I got lost on the way back from Eastin Hotel, where the finals was held. :( Ended up at god-knows-where and only got home after an hour with an empty gas tank. Roadtrip wtf.

Anyway, in the car I was thinking about the-four-of-us-plus-ivan-and-lynn. This is really sad but I gotta admit we're starting to drift apart. I couldn't even recall the last time we hanged out together. The last I saw Jovann was what, October 2007? It's sad, really. And the rest, on my birthday in January (where Ivan ffk-ed me you @#Anyway, in the car I was thinking about the-four-of-us-plus-ivan-and-lynn. This is really sad but I gotta admit we're starting to drift apart. I couldn't even recall the last time we hanged out together. The last I saw Jovann was what, October 2007? It's sad, really. And the rest, on my birthday in January (where Ivan ffk-ed me you @#$&#)*%*Q$@ I'm still pissed!).
amp;#)*%*Q$@ I'm still pissed!).

So guys, girls, watever, let's meet up real soon ok? before I forget how all of u look like.

Initially I wanted to post something meaningful but I'm not emo enough to write it yet. I'm feeling bimbotic now so let me write some light stuff ok.

10 Signs that you have a crush on him!

wtf I know damn sophomoric and as if girls nowadays don't know this already. But just let me write la ok cos I damn kau experience cheh wah. And this is based on my own experience/perception so it might not apply to all the girls out there. In no particular order:

1. Your heart beats faster at the mere mention of his name
Ok this is a damn obvious sign already. So if ur heart starts racing and ur face starts to blush (but not me la I never blush wan hoho) YOU LIKE THAT GUY OK. If not, why so gan chiong at the sound of his name huh huh huh? Then when people talk about him, you pay 101% attention but act nonchalant and will just keep quiet without asking any further questions to avoid suspicion wtf. And you hope they continue on the same topic ie him so you get to know more abt him, you stalker.

2. You become more image conscious
Generally when people hit puberty they will start dressing up, more conscious about their hair and start experimenting on make ups etc. Girls generally are vain but what I mean here is those who suddenly want to look prettier and girly when usually they just don't care how they look. They take that extra effort to look more decent - new hair-do, new clothes, new shoes, put on nail polish and perfume etc. All this so that he will notice you. No? Don't be in denial la.

3. You get excited/warm fuzzy feeling when he calls or text you, and reply in 0.00001 second
He texts you. You re-read the same message for 297420 times with a stupid grin on your face and when u reply, u keep backspacing becos u want to give the perfect reply. (Am i the only one like this?!) Then you wait anxiously for him to reply. When he calls, you stare at the number in disbelief, and then u spend 5 seconds clearing your throat and thinking what the hell he calls u for, then u realized u might have made him wait too long, scare he will put down the phone so u quickly push the talk button and erm stammer your way through the conversation. wtf i'm exaggerating hahaha. When the call ends, you keep replaying the phone conversation again and again in ur head, scolding yourself for saying/didn't say this or that.

4. You remember all the things that he did/said when you hang out
This sounds a bit stalkerish hor. But ya if you remember small lil details like the things that he said or did...isn't that obvious enough?! Another thing is, u find all his jokes funny when in fact they're really not funny.

5. You talk about him to your friends. A lot.
"Eh you know ar, that day Draco did this.."
"Oh you like that band? I have a friend, Draco, he loves that band too. And he also likes..."
"Yesterday Draco told me this joke right..."
"Do you know Draco cooks? He is also good at this that bla bla bla"

all these when clearly your friends have no interest in knowing them.

6. You check out his daily horoscope thingie
...I'm starting to get bored.

I know I said 10 signs but I really sian already. So I'm gonna stop here ok. bye.

Procrastination at its best

2008-03-19T14:29:00.002Z

I should really be working on my assignments which is due on friday. Seems like I'm gonna be stuck at home slaving away tomorrow. So, today I had been sleeping the whole day away. Recently I haven't been able to catch any decent naps in the afternoons/evenings. Since last week, everytime I wanted to sleep in the afternoons my heart will start racing and seriously it's damn annoying. I could be really tired and sleepy but my heartbeat omg can you like stop beating so fast. I really tried to sort out what is actually causing my heart to beat so fast but really la I don't know. Very annoying you see. Somehow today it didn't happen and I could really sleep and even had dreams.

Woke up to do my assignments but heh, like hell I would becos its so not last minute yet. So I browsed through friendster and looked at my old testimonials that my very 'nice' friends left me few years ago. And I realised that I still didn't change one bit =.=;;

Shu Shen, 04/6/2004
hmmm...this gal ar...handsome n
very 'leng chai' 1...talks a lot and
also very cool. Likes to joke around
and skip classes. Her school books are
one o' the moz cleanest in class. Gets
excited easily n has a lotta stories.
So, if u r looking for some bedtime
stories, juz ring her!

That's not true. My books are actually very dirty becos Su Ann always conteng my books.

Aira Amira, 04/6/2004
hmmm.. what to say ar... i've known
her quite long lor... since standard
four... very good in art... she also
damn gila about ff8, lion king and
linkin park... most of the time she
very weird wan... she also very hensem
lor... and also damn lazy... very rare
do her homework except for
maths...maths homework sure pass up
wan but will do at school every
morning... she'll marry any guy who
has a car and can drive her anywhere
anytime... oh ya... she used to be
quite tall lor now almost everybody
taller than her oledi... she's also
psychic like me... my sifu...

OMG the last point HAHAHAHA why am I like this. It's still true, I mean I'm not gonna marry just any guys with car but ya, one of the main criteria of my boyfriend is to have a car of his own. I'm not materialistic! Just being realistic. Ya allah now no guys will like me anymore.

Kezanne, 04/6/2004
i oso dunno wut to write about her loh
acutally. anyway, ok ler she as my
fren. like to talk loh and then ah she
veli 'hardworking' 1. depends on her
mood 1. but hoh, she crazee 1,
so 'hardworking' oso can get very good
results. ppl 1 2 be interior or
industrial designer. dunno her ler, i
think housewife suits her more. she
knows how to cook, wash bla bla bla

Hopefully the last point will save my ass from having to spend the rest of my live alone with no men wtf.

Su Ann, 04/13/2004
hahahaha this girl is a real GILA
person. have known her for 7 years,
and she's been gila all 7 of those
years. i've sat beside her in class
for 3 years in a row and frankly i'm
getting quite sick of her gilaness.
hahaha no la, actually i think i
cannot live without her! she makes
school life much more interesting :D
hehe she's quite nice to hang out with
cos she's entertaining and cuuute. and
also very helpful!! :P in the sense
that, when you spot this REALLY hot
guy and you want his name, she'll help
you go get it. so nice hor :) but
she's not always so nice la, cos she
like to insult people a lot. hehe this
girl can also do housework damn chun
wan :P she can cook too, but its best
that she doesnt, because she'll
probably end up pouring a whole pan of
hot oil on herself. she's been there
done that :P aiyaks no space, continue
in the next testimonial

okies,as i was saying :P this
fwog is also very creative and
artistic! she loves to maximise her
talent by graffitizing my schooldesk
and schoolbooks. her favourite animal
is cockroaches. she sleeps with the
lights on, hahhhahaha THE WIMP :P and
she does last minute study all the
time and still manages to score well.
stupid bish. do so well for what?!
wont hurt to get a C every now and
then okay. keke what else. OH YA, when
she's in lurveeee right, be sure to
catch that goofy grin on her face.
hahaha its like, a damn rarity to see
it lah. especially when she starts
scribbling his name all over
everything. eeeyer so "geli". she also
has an obsession with every one of my
boyfriends. and vice versa. i mean,
we're so alike that we actually have
the same taste in guys. we both date
each others bfs, muahaha! but eh, my
jerkface bf (the real one, keke) you
cannot touch ar. nicholas, draco all
those can. keke. aiya. i sleepy
liao :P

First highlighted point - I only did that becos she gave me 2 FF8 figurines wtf. So the truth is I'm actually a very shy girl but will sell my soul for things that I like. And yes I still do insult people a lot but usually I don't mean it wan ok. Just for laughs wtf. I am 20 and I still sleep with the lights on, cannot issit!? The last 2 points...le sigh sorry I'm still doing sophomore-ish stuff can't help it ok. But I'm more discreet now! You can't catch my goofy grin unless you sleep beside me wtf and I only scribble the names on my non-existent diary.

Ok sian and hungry already. Going to eat maggie mee and hopefully got ooomph to start doing work. (which I doubt la cos you know, after you eat you become more sleepy so ya Imma go sleep again wtf)

7 zhai

2008-03-12T12:51:00.002Z

Finally blogger loves me again. This was what I bought just now. Am feeling a tad better now after a hot shower.

Ideas are creeping in slowly, hopefully everything will turn out well :)

ps: my sister texted me just now saying that my mom asked how did I do for my exam. Now this really confused me becos:
1. I haven't sat for any exams yet so why the sudden question?
2. Coincidentally, today is the release of SPM result and yesterday STPM. Did she think I was one of those who's getting my result yesterday/today?!

seriously.

Le Sigh!

2008-03-12T11:53:00.003Z

I don't know wtf I'm feeling right now. A mixture of different emotions all jumbled up, and its so #$&)&*)#$*)$#* fucking annoying it ain't funny.

Feeling so goddamn sleepy just now so I decided to nap but I lied there for 1 hour and still couldn't sleep. Tried to sort out what exactly is causing these emotions but to no avail.

There's an interim crit worth 5% tomorrow and now I'm still idea-less. Designer's block. Like constipation, you know? Tried and tried to squeeze out the shit until your face turns blue but still nothing comes out.

I'm still feeling very agitated.

Look what I bought today.

Ok cannot see becos blogger wouldn't let me upload any photos. Even blogger is bullying me. :'(((((((((((

Le sigh!

Waiting for that 1 thing that might make me feel right again. My elvis-loving guy, oh where art thou.

Architecture

2008-03-04T14:16:00.007Z

SITE MODEL of Georgetown, Penang
Scale 1:500

Photos courtesy of kelvin, without permission...:D Click to enlarge!

3 days 2 nights work

Part of Georgetown, Penang

The rubbish bin after 1 night overnighting in college

How I look like in chrological order wtf

2008-02-10T10:20:00.000Z

Happy Chinese New Year -_________-

The saddest and most pathetic cny ever, people stayed up til 6am gambling, yours truly stayed up til 6am doing ASSIGNMENTS.

Anyway, look what I've found just now! *ignore the time stamp at the bottom right corner*

Can you spot me?!?!

Guess which was my first crush wtf.

HAHAHAHAHHAHA do I not look like the boy/girl in CJ7!

After looking at those photos, I was inspired to begin a post to document how I look like in chronological order. I must be damn thick skinned to do this. How do I disable comments ar? I can't take negative comments I will die wtf. So if you want to comment you are only allowed to say I'm cute wtf. HAHAHA.

You know, I was born with lots of hair, very bushy. In fact I was the 'hairiest' among my siblings. But don't know why my hair start to decrease in amount as I grew wtf. I think I will become bald when I hit 30 years old.....

Er, when I learnt how to crawl I guess.

Omg HAHAHAHAH WTF WAS I DOING MUST BE MY DAD WHO FORCED ME INTO THIS KINDA POSE.

Ok this is when my mom started to dress me up like a boy GRRRRR.

My sister damn cute! This was taken in Genting. You can only tell I'm a girl by looking at my socks hahahah.

See what did I tell you about my mom liked to dress me up like a boy. Why everyone got to wear dress while I wear that...that...thing wtf.

Rupa-rupanya I had coconut hairstyle before also.

Hohoho in standard 2 I think my mom realized that I'm a girl after all and no amount of boy's clothes will make me grow another genital. Spot me!

This is me in standard 3. My birthday. Taken with my god bro who I used to have a crush on but then we fought all the time and I hated him since.

Omgness this is me at 11 years old , when I made a new friend - spectacles. The point of this photo is not to look at me, but all those beside me. HAHHAHAHHA

Ok from then till 15 years old no photos becos that was my zaman kemerosotan wtf. SKIP.

The end of year 2003 - when I was 15 turning 16. My super short boyish lala hairstyle. And when I was not so fat wtf. And also, early that year I discovered contact lens. :D

17!
19!

Last year's early Xmas, still 19!

20th birthday this year :'( So fat already.

With the guys.

So, I changed from a boy to a girl back to a guy then now I'm a girl. Who knows, maybe next week Imma go shave my head bald and become a guy again -.-;;

There's pleasure behind pain

2008-01-30T05:36:00.000Z

Everybody, please welcome my newest addition in bodyart. Not gonna post up any photos becos photos do not do justice to how nice it is!

Some people say its nice, some say its so so, some say it's urgh. I personally love it. I think the beauty of this latest piece is in the details. It wasn't what I wanted at first, but when it's done, its just so wow.

Everyone asked: "why THIS!"

Becos I think I'm meant to have this. And me being a stubborn natural rebel, was even more determined to get it since everyone disagreed. HAHA.

No la the real reason behind is becos I'm cold blooded and evil wtf.

The big two-oh

2008-01-24T16:27:00.000Z

Am officially 20 year-old now.

happy birthday to me :)

The smell of us

2008-01-06T13:16:00.000Z

No matter how much you dread something, it comes. Tomorrow classes will be resuming. I realized something's seriously wrong with me. Whenever the holiday ends, I get fever and fall sick.

I was emo-ing from yesterday night, still am. No matter how much I dislike my home, its still my home. And I feel this feeling that I can't describe, everytime I leave the house. It's not like I'm never going back, some people think I'm making a big deal out of it becos the distance is just less than an hour away. Makes me wonder how am I gonna survive if I'm going to Melbourne next year.

Something's wrong with my tear ducts as well - they're out of control. I'm tearing as I'm typing this post. I feel like talking to someone but I can't seem to find the right person. The person whom I really wish to talk to right now, is not the right person.

I was unpacking my stuff earlier, and I realized that something's gone. Something really really special to me. Something which I refused to throw away even though it has serve its time and is useless now. I didn't realize it was gone when I was shifting my stuff from PJ, and it didn't even cross my mind.

It's strange how something that can escape my mind so easily, is at the same time something so important, and when I realized there's no way I can ever have it back, well the feeling...sux you know.

And that's when the first drop of tears rolled down and it won't stop now.

为什么要到失去了，才会觉得可惜?

In a blink of an eye

2007-12-31T20:12:00.000Z

31st December 2007. The day started out as normal as it could be. But things went downhill as evening approached. Everything was just as shitty as it could get, until the last half an hour of the last day of year 2007, things took a 180 degrees turn and I was happy again :D Friends, <3

We played a game, where everyone had to write down 2 of their new year resolutions and we would take turns, drawing randomly one of the papers and read them out for other people to guess whose resolution it is.

Mine was:

1. Not to be bothered by any new year resolutions.
2. Stay alive til the end of year 2008 so I can make the same resolution for year 2009.

Oh, I made mash potatoes for the potluck. I swear, this would be the first and last time I would make something like this unless someone buys me a blender or some sort.

Happy new year to you :)

Gibberish

2007-12-30T20:06:00.000Z

今天一整天
不知道为什么
心情都超闷的
还有一点点的忐忑不安

可能是就要开学的关系吧
感觉上还有很多事情还没处理好
也有一点点不舍得离开家

虽然常常埋怨这个家
但毕竟不用为三餐而烦恼
有汽车可以驾
还有姐妹的吵闹声
在外头自己住的唯一好处
就是没有门禁
可以自出自进
还有就是可以睡到太阳上山下山都没人管

这个假期过得好无聊
每天除了吃喝玩乐
还是吃喝玩乐
下场就是变得跟猪一样肥
讨厌

没办法
读我这一系的
常常在假期前冲刺到命都没有
所以难得假期
就要尽量去放松自己
能睡多少就睡多少
不然开学后就没的睡了
唉坎坷的读书生涯

2007年最后一天了
你们怎么过呢?
回想起这一年
有太多的回忆
甜、酸、苦、辣的统统都有
原本想写一则今年最让我痛彻心扉和遗憾的一些事情
但想想
还是不了
毕竟有些事太过私人
不方便和大家分享

我没有许新年resolution的习惯
根本不可能会做到的
许了也是白费力气
我人就是这样
完全没有所谓的坚持和意志力

只希望最后一年
能够取得更好成绩
然后进入好的大学 - Melbourne Uni (如果神真的存在，求求祢显灵吧)
在那里交一个帅气的Australian Born Chinese男友
呵呵
梦想天开

我不知道这一个post的重点是什么
刚开始是要审今天的心情超不爽
然后就慢慢离题。。。

算了
超长气的
2007年最后一天
不要孤单的过哦
找个人陪陪
哪怕是隔壁阿伯
还是后面阿姨
总之别觉得寂寞就可以了

我今年会和一群挚爱的好友度过<3
超兴奋和迫不及待的

新的一年
新的开始
大家努力吧!

I'm sorry for those who can't read Chinese. You see, my mind is bilingual, sometimes my thoughts are in English, sometimes in Chinese. As I was typing this post, my brain has switched to Chinese mode. So it's best that I blog in Chinese instead of trying to translate my thoughts into English else some meanings might get lost in the process. Anyway, its nothing important up there. If you know how to read, great, if not then too bad cos I revealed some super juicy gossips and secrets there and you won't know cos you don't know how to read chinese hahahhahahaha.

Just kidding.

Good night.

Erm, jingle bells?

2007-12-24T19:27:00.000Z

It's Christmas! and you know what that means?? It means its exactly 1 more month to my birthday! Hahaha I'm such a self centered bitch wtf.

I like Christmas. Who doesn't? Well, besides Scrooge and Grinch la. See, both of them are so sulky and ugly that's why I *HAVE* to love Christmas or else I will turn into someone like them.

Why do I love Christmas? I'm not even Christian. It's becos Christmas is a valid reason to party, woohoo. Just tell your parents "It's xmas la!" then they will be more lenient about it cos you know, its Christmas. And Christmas is a time of giving, and that includes giving freedom wtf.

Besides, we'd like to think that during Christmas criminals eg snatch thieves, kidnappers, robbers, rapers etc do not commit crimes on this day becos its a public holiday and it's a time of giving. Very delusional, I know. But whatever that makes us happy right.

I'm not a fan of over-crowded places with strangers spraying foams and ribbons at you. I was, but not anymore. Over that phase long time ago. Shit, does that make me old? Instead, I prefer hanging out with loved ones and have 'bonding sessions' as we call it. Just chilling and catching up with each other. And of cos, gossip >:)

The guys.

The girls.

Stoopid Jon who didn't want to be in either of the photos above.

Semi-group photo.

Candid group photo without me.

A 'Xmas gift' from my sister. Value pack wtf.

Merry Christmas everyone!

and er, happy new year.